I don’t know if this is out of nervousness or not being confident enough or something else

DontWorryBeHappyMan · 2019-05-20T21:20:02+00:00

You’re waaaaaaaay too in your own head !! Seriously need to find a way to relax and stop over thinking every little thing. Meditation and doing hard work outs might help to slow down that busy moneky mind of yours.

PeithoPan · 2019-05-20T21:38:04+00:00

You are trying to figure out if she likes you by reading every little signal there is that she does. Your brain is on overload, because of this and you can't make sensible decisions at all.

You just basically have to ask her out. It's hard to give you any pointers on how to do this, because you haven't told us much about the circumstances other than you sharing a class.

It's better you ask her out, and get shot down, rather than live in limbo like you do now, and wait for half a year, and then some other assholes gets to her before you have built up the nerve.

Trust me on this ok: It will feel a million times better after you ask, EVEN if she shoots you down, because then at least you know if she is interested or not. If she say no, you move on an practice approaching other girls, and you will forget about her pretty quickly.

If you cannot build up the nerve to do it right away, you should definitely start approaching other girls, and build up some confidence. Those experiences will help you a lot when yuo finally decide to do it yourself.

But listen to me: I had a couple of those crushes, that I DIDN'T do anything with when I was school age...and I can tell you, they don't fade away quickly, I can tell you that. So at some point, soon, go for it dude. Just go ask her. It's not the end of the world if she says no. And most likely she will say yes. Snice you are such a rock star that goes and ask her like that.

PRotip: find a place that you really like to hang out at, and tell her you are going to be there on saturday night (or whenever) and say she should go there too. "Bring your friends. Hey, have my number. Tell me if you are going, so I can save you guys some seats"!

Ok, now go!

zErh0 · 2019-05-20T23:49:49+00:00

why do I feel like I’m bothering her

Sounds like you are trying very hard to "not be a problem". It became so important that you lost the ability to let things flow naturally. Luckily, this is widely known issue and a major source of self-confidence issues among men these days. Focusing on not bothering and your behavior not becoming a problem for someone, more than on caring about your own needs and desires is a major part of that. I will not delve into details, but it is related to a fact that you consider her more important than you and her peace of mind to be more important than your need or desire to try and get to know her better, even though she never gave you a signal that you're bothering her.

It's called a "Nice Guy Syndrome". Part of it is making a hidden-contract with the world, that often goes more or less like this: "If I am not bothering her, if I am not trying to signal my intents/needs/desires towards her, which could make her uncomfortable, then I am a Good Boy and for that, surely, I will get some kind of reward, have my needs met and have a problem-free life" (possibly in the form of her making a move).

You're not alone in this, and there are support groups and specialists working with men who display these behavioral patterns. There is also a book on the subject.

The book is called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. You can easily find a pdf or audio version on google.

This might help you solve some of your problems that you aren't even yet aware of.

Good luck!

Title	I don’t know if this is out of nervousness or not being confident enough or something else
Author	blankemerald
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	May 20, 2019 9:16 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/br1hcm/i_dont_know_if_this_is_out_of_nervousness_or_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-know-if-this-is-out-of-nervousness-or-not.1469322 https://theredarchive.com/post/1469322

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