Am I getting out of Friend Zone?

So I was with this woman at her place yesterday evening.

To give a brief context, we started hanging out 2 months back, have fooled around a bit, had the 'what are we' talk, she friend-zoned me, I walked away from her offer, went back to her because she is fun to be around and I was needy. But we decided to hang out further by clearly being aware of each other intentions and accepting what each other's expectations would be for future meetings.

Anyways we were chilling at her place, so she initiated the touch by resting her legs on my lap while lying on the couch. I gently caressed her legs for the whole duration of the movie. Since the frame before this meeting was of platonic friendship, it was very confusing for me to escalate it further and shift the frame to a sexual one. Nothing happened in short. Here are my questions:

What does this particular interaction means?
Obviously all the touching was not something normal friends would engage in, right?
Any suggestions to seduce her if there is a chance?

[–]getyourlifeplease 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link

You have already fooled around with her, so there is a comfort level - thus why her resting her legs on you isnt a big deal nor sexual.

she friend-zoned me, I walked away from her offer, went back to her because she is fun to be around and I was needy. But we decided to hang out further by clearly being aware of each other intentions and accepting what each other's expectations would be for future meetings.

The fact you are even ASKING whether you sre inching your way oit the friendzone or not means you arent "accepting" of the intentions - which seem to be none. She gave you an out (friendzoning you), but YOU made the choice to stick around despite her being clear she isnt into you. So....anything moving fwd (short of her telling you she likes you and wants sex) is FRIENDSHIP. Stop worrying about seducing someone who already doesnt want you. That makes NO sense, is a desperate move, and also stands to have you loose this friendship altogether - if you keep trying to get with her. Dont be that guy. Accept your fate and date other women.

[–]corporal_giraffe[S] -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]getyourlifeplease 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]corporal_giraffe[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. So basically I am trying to latch onto anything that can validate my stand even though she is clearly not into me. I get it now. But just to get it out of my head, I just want to clarify one more thing. So when you say you are that much comfortable with your guy best friend and the particular actions you mentioned doesn't mean anything romantically involved between you two, do those actions also involve gently massaging and caressing his legs?

I am asking this, because this is something if I would have done to my guy best friend, there is only awkwardness that would prevail around.

I get it, she is at a high comfort level with me, but when I caressed and massaged her legs, and there was no objection raised, that is something that triggered my need to validate the action here.

Thanks.

[–]getyourlifeplease 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I have to ask - why are you still marinating over one single action? One. She didnt kiss you, she didnt sit on your lap and grind on you, she didnt play with your peen. And you are literally trying to breakdown ONE SIMPLE ACTION of leg massaging and "make sense of it". This leads to the questions - how much exp with women do you have? How old are you? Why do you want this ONE TIME to mean something so badly? Im in no way attacking you...but you have to understand how this is coming across. Despite me already breaking it down for you, even sharing my own personal exp with my guy friend and how our cuddling basically was not romantic, you still are like "yeah ok...BUT why? BUT what about...?". You are not coming from a place of strength man, that seems like desperately trying to justify what YOU want. Please, stop replaying this ONE ACTION over in your mind to make it fit your narrative. Even if this has happened more than once, it is one small action...not a list of things she has done to make you suspect there is more to it.

If you dont want to believe what Ive said, ask Her. Save all this time and torture you are putting yourself through - ask Her how she feels about you. And then come back and share that with us here. Ok?

[–]corporal_giraffe[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for all the help. Needed that. Obviously I don't have much experience with women. That is why the constant need to fit one action to my narrative and make sense out of it. I understand how needy and desperate I sound in the post. I know I left my position of strength as soon as I got back to her when in fact I had earlier walked away from her offer. I understand I cannot expect anything more than friendship with my other lady friends and hence i don't feel anything towards them except for just being in the moment with them as friends.

But this woman is growing on me. And my lack of sexual experience is further aggravating it. I just needed this space to let it out. I know for a fact we both enjoy each other's company. I am clueless what to do. You tell me to move on, and I am really trying to get on dates with other women. But I tend to measure up these other women, which I know I shouldn't do, with her. I keep myself busy with tasks and work but I tend to gravitate towards her in my moments of loneliness. I can ask this woman how she feels about me, and I know what the answer would be. So there is no point in asking her that. I have been friend zoned enough with lot of other women to understand my current position wrt her. I told her clearly I wanted her when I walked away. Is there any realistic practical way that this position can change?

[–]getyourlifeplease 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Am I getting out of Friend Zone?
Author	corporal_giraffe
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	June 9, 2019 3:02 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/byl2uc/am_i_getting_out_of_friend_zone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/am-i-getting-out-of-friend-zone.1470970 https://theredarchive.com/post/1470970

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