Last Friday I’ve planned my night to go somewhere: a main venue was the opening of a series of summer events, plus a fallback venue which I already know well. Just to be sure to not run out of venues.

At evening, I finished to work, cut my air, did some exercises and finally a cold shower. I didn’t necessarily put any expectations, just the willingness of enjoyment, even if I was a bit tired after the week.

As usual, I was going solo. Arrived there I see a lot of people, a surf/rock concert with people dancing near the stage. I had to ask to several people (only women, to warm myself) where the line to buy a beer was, because there were many lines. At least it was a decent opener because it was easy to add other quick situational comments about being in line. Nothing serious, just triggering some smooth interaction.

At around 23.30 the concert ended and no music was played to let people dance.

Suddenly I see that “everyone was with someone” (groups/sets of 2 to N people), except me: I was alone, in a public venue, without music. WTF!

I started to select/filter/sort what I had around me. I was looking for sets with “potential opportunities” (everything who can inspire an improvisational interaction) . Among others, I spotted a group of 3 women and a guy at 20-30 meters from me. The brunette was really sexy! From their body language, they were talking about something with animosity, just like they were complaining. I thought. I thought again, and again. Then I told to myself: “fuck it! If I can take a cold shower, I’m not going to get blocked by this. I started slowly walking to them looking elsewhere, I took a breath...3...2...1... “Excuse me, is there anything else here? Did they stop the music at all?! I want to dance!”. I was honestly asking for that.

They wanted to dance too! They warmly welcomed me, I introduced and tried to keep eye contact with each one, especially the brunette. They asked me to check some other venue on FB. Some of them mentioned a cumbia fest elsewhere, I confirmed the event was happening in the given place, then I told them I was going there. I kindly waved and ejected. Maybe I’ll meet them there, otherwise who cares? I wanted to dance after all, even if I didn’t know what Cumbia was about, lol!

Arrived there, I discovered that Cumbia is a latin american thing, and there was a concert with a band playing music. Fuck it, I dance anyway, alone. 30 minutes later the concert finished. WTF! Again?! But it starts new music with DJs. Yeee!

20-30 minutes later, the set I had approached in the first venue found me dancing on the floor, hugged me and introduced me to other friends. Everything was smooth ;-) The brunette was heavily drunk, too much to escalate “ethically”, her friends were drunk too but still in control of their basic actions. I continued dancing and meeting them one-by-one periodically. Each of them gravitated around me, they continuously tried to show value and their interest in me. One of them suddenly said: “OMG I realized there’s my boyfriend here, you’re really tempting for me, I was forgetting him”. I stayed cool, smiled and said “Ok, whatever” (inside me that was a huge ego boost anyway). I really wasn’t interested, they weren’t as attractive as the brunette (which in that moment was laying on the floor completely drunk). Then, I got approached by another of their friends, she liked my t-shirt and starts talking about her plans for the future and bla bla bla. She is very nice, but too young. I’m 40+, she was around 20 and she was talking like my 6yo daughter. My interest dropped and moved on to continue dancing. I was finally approached by a girl who gave me a flyer for a future event. I smiled and kept eye contact. Nothing special, except she stared in front of me repeating “Cool, I hope to meet you again there”, without moving on. It was dark, I was tired, the night was coming to and end, and I wasn’t ready to promptly reply with something smart.

I didn’t number closed with anyone. The brunette friends told me to meet at the same venue the night later. I agreed and went again on Saturday, but I didn’t meet them again but I danced techno all the night, alone, without any other approach.

Lessons learned:

  • next time I’ll approach even more

  • I should try to close in more effective ways, at least the number.

  • maybe I should be a bit less selective

  • avoid drunk women, especially when you’re more sober than them

Overall I’m pretty satisfied by the unexpected results: I made 1 approach (excluding the warm up), I got 5 back from them by just enjoying my time and not giving a fuck.

Hope you enjoyed, comments/questions are welcome.