How to approach?

folasanmi · 2019-06-09T23:19:47+00:00

Actually your experience is quite common among most guys. “Don’t know what I’m doing so, get drunk and hope some girl will approach me”. For you I would recommend focusing more of my energy on talking to girls during the day. It’s the purest form of game and gives you the quickest feedback, about what your doing right and wrong. But I don’t know your history so it’s hard to give advice on what to Further

recyclablebanthas · 2019-06-10T04:55:48+00:00

1

So I'm not the best at this as I feel intimidated whenever I see a group of girls. So my question is what's the best way to approach a girl in a group? I'm in a college town and when there is a group of girls with a guy they become super protective.

Girls circle the wagons when guys start looking at them and awkwardly try to build up the courage to talk.

The best way to "approach" is actually more like focusing on observation, and then dropping a disposable comment based on observations of the current situation (a hook, if you will).

You're all concerned about how to approach a girl in a group. It's more like you have to approach the situation. You pay attention to the situation. Do this all the time. Be aware of what's going on. Not just when you see a girl. ALL THE TIME. The world is an interesting and funny place, if you look for it. So look for it.

Then you'll start to notice aspects of the situation that are interesting and funny. So comment on them. Outloud. While people are around. Maybe the comment is to yourself. Maybe you make the comment while looking at someone. Either way, the comment was almost more for you.

2

Example: You're sitting on campus somewhere and somebody walks by with a cute dog. You comment on the dog's cuteness or special way of doing whatever it's doing. People around you may or may not comment. Maybe the dog owner will also. The point is that when you drop hooks, people who have a good feeling about you, are going to respond. Some will, some won't. The same as if you "approached" them in the more traditional way.

3

The thing about this way of doing it, is that it can be applied as a general approach that's always on. You're always "approaching" when you're dropping hooks. And in this context, when you see that group of girls, you could easily drop a hook about something you observe in them or around them. Maybe they respond well, maybe they don't. If they respond well, you'll have an instant conversation topic in whatever your hook was.

4

Last night for example I tried but kept failing and eventually just started dancing(horribly I might add)/listening to the music without trying to find a girl for the rest of the night and to my amazment a pretty cute girl approached me (I was pretty drunk and wasnt in the mood anymore so I actually didnt take her up, boneheaded move on my part). From reading this is a rare thing right? So how should I go about it so I dont have to rely on luck?

Here's what you described:

You were trying too hard to approach girls and was having a bad time at it.
You gave up and started focusing more on fun. Whether you danced "well" was irrelevant. The important thing is having the balls to let go and enjoy yourself.
You also let go of an attachment to any particular outcome. This is important because being attached to an outcome can quickly become desperation and that vibe will drive women away.
Then once you had Outcome Independence and were basically offering fun to people around you instead of coming at people with an empty cup, a girl thought that was fun and came up to you.
You then freaked out, not realizing it was so easy, and shut it down accidentally, because you suddenly worried that there was a prescribed set of steps that you were on your way to fucking up.

Well, there aren't any "steps" really. You were on your way with that girl. And it isn't "rare" for a girl to show interest. It's common, unless a guy has a low confidence attitude and walks around sabotaging himself. Your job now is to start debating that negative voice the next time it starts to freak out and tell you bullshit like, "You're too drunk," or "You're not really in the mood anymore."

Like seriously, you know that wasn't the case. It was fear, and we all face it at times.

It wasn't "luck." That was good game, followed by you freaking out and shutting it down.

2

I should add that I go solo since none of my buddies like going out.

That's fine. Great, even.

What you could look for also, is making conversation with the people you see out at night. Make conversation. If you're going to the same places, you'll start to see regulars. Chat with the staff if possible also. Just shooting the shit is fine. Get to know names. Ask how they are, etc.

If your buddies aren't with you there, make friends or acquaintances there at least. There's no harm in it.

Title	How to approach?
Author	Madguey
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	June 9, 2019 11:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/byqfqn/how_to_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-approach.1471008 https://theredarchive.com/post/1471008

Comments