A wise man once said

"a lack of frame control is like shooting in the dark."

So here are 3 important frames that I set in all of my interactions and how to do it.

#1 I'm a sexual man

In order to truly communicate this, there needs to be an internal and extrenal congruence.

You need to allow yourself to FEEL sexual (internal) and behave sexually (extrenal).

Most guys are way too focused on the wrong things such as having a good conversation, being funny etc that they are not able to tap into their sexuality.

You need to relax. Create gaps in your sentences. Leave silences. Tension arises when there is silence. Get comfortable with it or it becomes an awkward silence. Girls can feel it.

Get your eye contact, body language, proximity, tonality on point.

Each of them is extremely important in creating sexual tension.

Start talking sexually. Introduce sexual topics and ask questions relating to dating and sex.

It baffles my mind that I alongside with lots of guys used to think you shouldn't overtly ask girls about sex.

Questions like

"When is the last time you had sex?"

"Have you ever had a threesome before?"

"Where is the craziest place you've had sex?"

"But, but, wouldn't that piss some girls off since it's a little bit much when you first meet someone?" - You may be wondering.

It all depends on WHO is asking. Whether the girl perceives you as a sex-worthy high value fuckboy vs a provider type nice guy.

She wouldn't even challenge you if you're the first type, because she knows it's just the way you are.

These are GREAT screening questions because it gives you an indication of the girl's beliefs around sex.

Allow me to clarify.

A girl may have a strong limiting belief around having casual sex. And let's say you spend 2 hours with her without screening this out. When it's pull time and you try to bring her home, she objects and leaves you wondering why.

Sound familiar?

I've had this many times as well. It all just comes down to a lack of screening properly.

You need to screen out these objections and deal with them before they get in the way. If a girl is uncomfortable talking about sex, you need to figure out WHY.

Feels like she needs a connection first?

Doesn't see you as sexworthy yet?

Slutshaming issues?

You get the point. This is a huge topic that I could run on for years with, let me know if you want clarification on anything.

#2 I'm non judgmental because I'm a little bit crazy

A girl isn't going to feel comfortable to express the full range of her crazy, fun and kinky side unless she knows you won't judge her.

One way to do this is to show her that you're a little bit crazy as well.

You need to show and not tell her.

"I'm not going to judge you" can only do so much.

Start telling stories of your crazy past experiences.

For example,

A lot of the times you ask a girl a question like - "What's the craziest thing you've ever done?" - she will feel nervous to answer.

Because either she doesn't want to go too far and have you judge her for being too much or she wants to give an answer impressive enough to have your validation.

So most of the time, they will ask you to answer your own question first.

You need to have good crazy stories in your arsenal for situations like this. Good stories can tell a lot about a person.

Using the same example and depending on the frame of the interaction so far, I like to go with different stories.

If it's been strictly sexual and nothing more, then I tell a story of how my best friend and I would pull girls from the club and swap them.

This usually gets them wet.

If the girl is needing more trust in me which would require me to tell her about myself, then I tell her my life story when I dropped out of university to pursue a career in helping guys become more confident and have better relationships.

A much better, routine version that triggers strong emotions of course.

So it all depends on the context and what my intuition tells me.

A girl is much more likely to open up sexually around a fuckboyish kind of guy who may be a total fuck up versus a provider (good job, well dressed) kind of guy because there is much less pressure and expectation.

Remove the formality, pressure and expectation by going first and showing her who you are.

#3 I have standards and expect people to meet them - Prizing frames

I call this the CEO frame.

You create this frame by expressing your personal preferences to the other person.

Acknowledge the good and bad.

You should be constantly letting the other person know what you like and don't like in a partner by expressing it in one way or another.

Appreciation can be in the form of physicality, verbal acknowledgment or any sort of positive expressions.

The negative form can be anytime you enforce a boundary, tease and challenge her, or anything that conveys to her "hey this is not good enough."

Rinse and repeat.

This is how you nurture relationships to the exact scenario that you desire.

I've already covered this in my post about compliance so check it out if you want to read more about it:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/chencity/permalink/399852017239369/

Once you've created enough momentum of this, where the girl is chasing your validation, she will automatically chase you. And everything else becomes much more effortless.

If you can implement this successfully and have congruence in doing it, you truly become the prize because you have genuine standards that the girl needs to live up to.

This will put you miles ahead of 99% of guys and now the game is much more engaging for the girl.

That's it for now guys.

Make sure you join our Facebook group Chen City if you want to see more of this type of content.

(Don't worry it's a private group so your friends won't see you joining it ;))

-Chen City