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I know that my problem is that I "try too hard" to be likeable, I just don't know how to fix it.

RAGINGALPHA696969 · 2019-07-02T01:59:28+00:00

I catch myself saying really dumb stuff or making really dumb jokes in attempt to be likeable. And that it feels like I'm forcing myself in situations to...

RAGINGALPHA696969

July 2, 2019

2 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	I know that my problem is that I "try too hard" to be likeable, I just don't know how to fix it.
Author	RAGINGALPHA696969
Upvotes	2
Comments	2
Date	July 2, 2019 1:59 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/c83bla/i_know_that_my_problem_is_that_i_try_too_hard_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-know-that-my-problem-is-that-i-try-too-hard-to.1472737 https://theredarchive.com/post/1472737

Comments

[–]QuicklyStranded 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]JSintra 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

We spend way too much time worrying about how we're representing ourselves sometimes to understand that it doesn't matter and you should treat this person like any other person you interact with and have no expectations.

This is pretty wise. And it reinforces the idea of learning not to care. Although it's in our nature to try to be likeable, we mustn't overdo it. There's being a pleasant and open minded person (almost) anyone can be around, and there's being a try hard who doesn't let his true self shine through out of fear of driving anyone away.

Although the concept is simple (not caring), it's not easy. Requires some practice and discipline. Don't try too hard to be included in things, accept that most times you're not the focus. Let others be it. Accept invitations to everything, be that buddy your friends can count on to go do anything. Learn active listening, you're probably interjecting too much instead of letting others speak and communicate their thoughts. Cut out the dumb jokes if they're dumb - I mean, if you don't approve of these jokes, why make them? You're not being congruent with yourself.