And I can't tell it anybody, I am to ashamed. And frustrated and sad and mad and I am just happy, that I don't have any suicide tendencies. Otherwise I would kill myself right now. Everything what I shall write is 100% true, I am avoiding to say anything, what is matter of opinion. I am medical doctor before 30, who is looking for stable and happy relationship for some time and is unable to find it. I am 185, 88 kg around 19% bf. Working out, trying to reduce it to around 80 kg(was over 100kg and 35% bf). I have used dating sites as well. Without any luck, hurting my self-esteme until THE bad luck. I got message from some pretty girl, after a bit of talking she revealed me more about herself, than more and more, being with me very sincere, saying things, dat almost nobody knows. She was right then in psychiatric ward, she got heavy, medicamemt resistive depression and she is sexoholic. Still I liked her, is hot and decide to give a try, be optimistic. She invited me kinda in last minuety for the wedding as her escort and even called her boyfriend. We had I thought nice time at the party, shared room and I tried move. She rejected me, saying she doesnt think about me in this way. When I asked whats wrong with me(I know I shouldnt), she said nothing. I am perfectly fine and great guy. Even sexoholic doesnt want me, but I got told 4th fucking time in this year, that i am great guy, but(...) When I read it, maybe I should fucking kill myself