What is the girl's perspective when agreeing to a date?

recyclablebanthas · 2019-09-03T00:37:38+00:00

Like, you set up a date and then the day of the girl is like, sorry this or that came up and I can't make it.

Or you and a girl agree to go on a date a couple weeks from now because she's about to go traveling, but once she's back she's mia.

If she's doing this, then the initial meeting didn't go well. The time you set up the meet, didn't go well.

I get that girls get asked out a lot, and I get their flakiness is sometimes a function of their interest in you, but I guess as a guy, when I agree to some commitment it's fairly set, I don't easily back out.

It doesn't matter to a girl if a lot of guys are asking her out. What matters to her, just like any man, is whether they actually want to meet up with a dude.

They won't, if they're really not interested.

I guess I'm just trying to understand this from a girl's perspective. Are dates just kind of like, for fun? And if they can make it, great, if not, my bad?

What's happening is that they just aren't interested, but many women have socially adapted to not say no directly because some dudes make a scene and make shit awkward if they're rejected directly.

This situation fucks things up for everyone.

2019-09-03T00:42:08+00:00

I've noticed that sometimes a girl will say yes and then flake if she is afraid that an outright no will have negative repercussions (or will just result in objection handling rather than being respected). The tendency to do this has a lot to do with her previous experiences but also may reflect on you being a bit pushy in getting the initial yes.

Something I've been doing to avoid this for a few years now is to back right off if the girl seems to be passively agreeing to everything and make her chase me for a bit before I'll commit to anything. I also commit to asking permission before physical escalation and treating a "no" as final with zero argument or game to turn it around. I'll do this a lot on little things as soon as possible in a set to establish the paradigm (eg: that cocktail looks awesome may I have a taste?). I've found that women who know they can say "no" and have it respected are more likely to mean it when they say "yes" and tend to be less prone to flaking.

Title	What is the girl's perspective when agreeing to a date?
Author	mynameiswut
Upvotes	7
Comments	2
Date	September 2, 2019 9:35 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cyvft5/what_is_the_girls_perspective_when_agreeing_to_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-the-girls-perspective-when-agreeing-to-a.1477620 https://theredarchive.com/post/1477620

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