This is my first time doing approaches. I did 3 approaches yesterday. 1 direct and 2 situational. I admit that it could be due to my inexperience that have led to some unfortunate results but would like to hear your thoughts on what could be improved.

Should we use direct openers or indirect? Ask for her number or Instagram? How much touch is too much?

Tl:dr

  1. Direct approach brings immediate indication of interest from me and loads of shit tests too.
  2. Direct approach makes me dumb, like I can't follow up on what to say next.
  3. Become aware of your excuses to approach and put them aside.
  4. No one really cares who you are talking to (although I still find it hard to resolve this as I am very well known in some places too)
  5. Personally, I find situational openers comfortable. I could easily transit to different topics after opening.
  6. Situational openers seem to set no expectations and leaves you more or less as just a friendly stranger.
  7. I find getting Instagram handles easier and could be equally effective as phone numbers.
  8. Think of the most confident person and follow his behaviour in being in control
  9. Touch is really important.

So here's the breakdown:

Approach 1 (direct)

I saw Girl 1 going up a escalator. Anxiety crept in and I was playing hearthstone. It was an obvious excuse to not approach and I realised.

So I stuck my phone into my pocket and climbed up the escalator. Once I was on a step higher than her, I smiled and said hi.

She greeted me with a smile in response.

I followed up, 'I thought you were cute,' my thoughts froze for a few seconds, 'and you seem to have this cheerful energy around you that is real cool to me.'

We reached the top of the escalator and we stopped at the hallway.

I became an interviewer and asked her question after question after question. While touching her arm and laughing at the things in found funny. This is where I felt that I screwed up.

She had to leave for her meeting. I told her that she was interesting and seemed keen on making new friends and would like to get coffee some time.

I tried getting her number to meet but she replied that she is lesbian and attached.

Respecting that, I told her to enjoy her meeting and left.

Approach 2 (situational)

I was getting lunch from a pasta stall. The place was a huge mess. There were waves of people standing around and no obvious queues were present.

Girl 2 came up to me, 'are you in the queue?'

'no idea,' I replied. At once started asking others if they were queueing. We found where it was and I let her order first.

After I had ordered, I went up to her and commented on how messy the system was and made some links to how it was similar to our macdonalds and bubble tea shops (I'm from Singapore. I'm assuming there could be cultural differences so some of you guys might not recognise what I am talking about).

She was a freshman and I was in my final year. I realised that she was a humanities student and made her guess my major while touching her arm while she played along with my 'pop quiz' .

Since I enjoyed going to the museum, I made a statement, 'you may be a humans student but you don't seem like the kind to be interested in meusums and art.'

Our Conversation stopped here cause I had to collect my food.

When I returned back, she said that she had to leave for class. I said that she was really fun to talk to and we kind of shared the same interest and should chat some other time.

I asked for her Instagram handle and only accepted her request at the end of the day.

Messaged her that it was great meeting her while making a reference to her name that she shared with me. Sadly, just got a like on the message.

Approach 3

I was attending an event that afternoon. Most of the people were seated and I saw girl 3 from her backview. As I was about to sit beside her, I noticed she was reading some manga.

'Oh wow! You're reading manga!'

She laughed and said that she was reading it for some manga credit thing (which I have no idea what it is about too). I proceeded to say that I liked manga as well and asked what she was reading.

Followed up with her name. She had a really interesting name but I didn't get a chance to know what the meaning was as our sharing had begun.

We had some ask your neighbour activities and I touched her arm when she said something I found funny.

We were broken up into different groups. Taking this opportunity, I asked for her Instagram handle and only accepted her request at the end of the event.

Refreshments came closer to the end of the event. I grabbed some food and chatted with her, when she made a funny remark I lightly tapped her thigh and laughed along.

She asked a question while I was chewing. After swallowing MY FOOD, I joked, 'if you asked me to talk while eating I'll call you a monster.'

She replied, 'sure.' (to be really honest I was stumped by this response. I would've expected her to flare up and complain about it. )

We were then told to come up front for a group photo. No one moved, so I made the first move. She didn't want her picture taken. Took the photo and came back to her.

I called her out for not joining me up front jokingly. And we laughed about it.

I found out that she was 3yrs older than me. Then we left the event separately.

On insta I texted her on being a manga reader and had enjoyed chatting with her. She replied that she enjoyed it too. Following up to meet next week.

That's all peeps. Amazed if you've read the whole chunk of my brain farts.

Do let me know what are your thoughts. Your secret tricks to improve approach.

Happy day fam ZWANZIG~