Girl at a bar. What does it mean if/when they bring up an ex or tell you why they are recently single, like a breakup?

comealiveatnite · 2019-10-14T03:48:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

gazija762 · 2019-10-14T04:20:52+00:00

and began telling me how she just broke up with a boyfriend of 4 years 2 weeks ago as she found out he was cheating.

You didnt show intent so she just assumed youre a friend. Thats why she was talking about that. You need to talk to girls like a lover. If you showed intent she would flirt with you

I didn't divulge into the details, as to avoid being a 'friend'

You presented yourself as a friend from the start so yea.

I wondered if missed an opportunity. Thoughts?

Nope, she saw you as a friend. But its not all that bad, you have alot of potential brother since you got outside of your comfort zone. Most guys dont even have the balls to approach a girl. Keep it up like this, constantly be uncomfortable and you will go a long way

WIA20XX · 2019-10-14T12:43:26+00:00

I'm more of a Machiavellian PUA, so my analysis might offend your sensibilities.

The girl who just broke up with a guy and is at the bar telling everyone her business is a cliche.

Having been burned, I avoid this situation (SO SHOULD YOU), but a chick like this is looking for affection when she should be looking for something else.

Don't think of this as "the girl in my social circle just broke up with her boyfriend" There are plenty of circling vultures that are trying to "shoulder to cry on" their way into the pussy.

What's interesting is that as a stranger, it's way easier to fuck this chick than her social circle guys she already knows that are all scheming to fuck. Those guys are known quantities, you are not.

She brought up she was there cuz she works up the street and began telling me how she just broke up with a boyfriend of 4 years 2 weeks ago as she found out he was cheating.

Not enough attraction, too much comfort and rapport, OR the girl has no filter.

She mentioned that he had kids and she was playing stepmom to them and how she was going thru a tough time.

Poor decision making on her part.

I didn't divulge into the details, as to avoid being a 'friend', but she was kind of venting lol Then she tells me she's got a 'friend' she's talking to about it all. She said it's nice to have someone to talk to about it, but he's getting possessive and she thinks he's 'crazy'.

You're in the Friend zone, not a sexual threat. Not too deep in the friend zone, but getting there with every word.

I didn't know if this was a friendzone or letting me know what's up situation. I kinda bailed out of the convo because it was a little too heavy but afterwards I wondered if missed an opportunity. Thoughts?

You did the right thing by bailing imo. You did so for the wrong reason, but it was the right end.

Sticking your dick in this girl would have been inviting her drama into your life. Even as a fuck buddy this girl would be problematic.

But....

If you wanted the bang, instead of giving her rapport, you should have broke it.

So she's pouring her heart out to a complete stranger. That's already a violation, but some chicks are just like that.

It's fake rapport, because she would have said this to anyone willing to listen.

Laying this heavy shit on a stranger breaks all sorts of rules. Socially savvy Girls avoid these types of people.

Cause as this chick unburdens herself, she doesn't really feel better (she often relives it bringing herself down) and now you feel worse. Toxic.

From a player's point of view, she told you one of the types of guys she likes to fuck - this total mess of a human being. He's a taker and she's a giver. That is her blueprint, and probably will be for sometime.

This is the so-called "nice girl".

She is nice to guys in order to get what she wants (affection and attention from a guy she wants it from)

This is no different than the guy version, where he does all this stuff to make the girl like him.

Just like the nice guy, She is getting dumped on and doesn't value herself.

How I would break rapport.

"So (were) you taking care of his kids and he's out fucking other bitches? Da fuck is wrong with you?"

Word choice, curse words in this case, is important here, because you want her to react more than think.

The tone and body language is not angry but pointed. Like you were checking your little sister, not like you're trying to dog out some chick.

This will break rapport.

She has three typical moves.

1) She'll leave/check out of the chat. That's fine. This chick was bad news. You "win".

2) Or she'll agree, and accept your characterization of the events. You "win".

3) Or she'll try to justify herself to you. In which case, you "win" because you are the person that she seeks approval from.

This is probably how he hooked her.

He could be a good looking dude, but the psychological thing is what made her take care of his kids. She needs his approval.

So if she stays in the chat, you go from it being all about her to being about "us".

A lot of gurus aren't explicit about going from third person or first person singular to first person plural, but they all do it.

If you want to sleep with her, the idea of the two of you needs to be in her mind.

"That's why me and you wouldn't work. You'll come over, cook some food. I'll turn on Netflix, and then we'll fuck. That's it, no drama. You'll be bored as shit. You need drama, and most guys can't give it to you"

This isn't a cold read per se, but chicks love "self discovery".

Then I usually will lean into it.

"This probably ain't the first time someone's taken advantage of your kindness..."

Even if it is the first time, "kindness isn't weakness" is one of those Facebook meme classics...So she'll just accept your frame.

From there she will start seeking your approval, and you need to dole it out as she gives you what you want. Set up ways for her to cooperate, and you'll end up discussing stuff at your place not at the bar.

I'm going to assume you had a plan to meet a girl and take her home.

So this is a basic reversal of imminent friend zone by breaking rapport and having her seek your approval. You then proceed with your plan.

This is more game than pickup, so realize that the girl isn't hooking up with you because she finds you sexy in a "we would have genetically fit children", but because she wants your approval.

That's a key difference. A lot of guys are uncomfortable with that.

Title	Girl at a bar. What does it mean if/when they bring up an ex or tell you why they are recently single, like a breakup?
Author	comealiveatnite
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	October 14, 2019 3:07 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dhkplg/girl_at_a_bar_what_does_it_mean_ifwhen_they_bring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-at-a-bar-what-does-it-mean-ifwhen-they-bring.1481145 https://theredarchive.com/post/1481145

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