Throwaway here, sorry for bad English. I got bad oneitis for coworker I see every day, and abundance does NOT helping. I meet and hook up with a lot of lovely college girls, some who looking like Barbie models, but then I go back to work and obsess.

The thing about her is she intelligent, engaging, and supreme confident. No history of mental health, abuse, or assault, almost has zero baggage. Beautiful face, so charismatic, outgoing, and awesome at job. She seem unflappable. I spend more time with her out of anyone, but she hard to read beyond "work friending." According to Dan Bacon and ToddV, I've probably already friendzoned myself by not generate attraction early enough, but ToddV also said you're the aggregate of your experience, is never too late. At work I am leader of men and very confident, but she might see me the same way I see a cool male coworker that I like as friend. Sometime she asks me to get lunch, only me, sometime she eat alone, sometimes I think she doesn't care either way, is like accidental push-pull where I don't know what she likes, or she just seems random and likes what is new and novel at time. At lunch we usually talk about work, I need to escalate more but I don't know how without sounding like sleaze or tryhard.

The hookup girls, as much as I try to get anything out of them, are often just boring talk to, passive, unengaging, not passionate about anything. Some of them are knockout bombshell Barbies, but they're basic and average in every other ways.

PUA seems like all a numbers game where people end up being "same." but I want an emotional and physical connection.

The only one that was able to make me forget oneitis was hookup turned into much more, she told me loved me for about a year, until she ghosted me for another guy that she was messing around with whole time. :( So I keep having meaningless hookups in hope that one is smart, affectionate, and engaging, and most of them aren't.

I'm no fool, I know the oneitis girl might be selfish bitch in relationship, but I can't get her out of my head.

tl;dr: sex is great and all, but "abundant" dumb girls just not grab me.