Women don’t even want to get to know me, so I don’t know how to flirt with them, if I can’t even connect with them. What do I do??

getyourlifeplease · 2020-01-24T10:26:38+00:00

There is something in your approach that turns these girls off - the key is to find out what that is! Do you cold approach? Are you already socially awkward and maybe not know how to talk to them...so you say random things (which can be seen as kinda weird)? Your body language...does it come across as being kinda mousey, overly shy, not confident? Are you just walking up to girls and asking them out or are you at least trying to build rapport first...maybe make them laugh or chat a bit? If girls dont even want to get to know you, something's off in the vibe you send them - and they sense it. Could be they feel uncomfortable around you, maybe they feel like you act a bit desperate or toi eager, maybe you are too aggressive in your approach and they dont like it, maybe you come across as creepy? Not sure what feeling tired has to do with anything, but maybe that makes you come across as dull, or boring...who knows.

Take some.time off asking girls out and focus on your prob areas - go to the gym, build some self confidence, make sure you have good hygiene, try volunteering or joining clubs at school so you can practice learning to socialize and fun flirt (before even trying to sexually flirt). Make friends! Do you have friends?

PimPedOutGeese · 2020-01-24T11:11:41+00:00

Wow. Ok man let’s help you out. Let’s take it from the top. First let’s start with some hard truths. Long post.

It’s not that women get to know me and reject me, they just flat out don’t consider me, even as a friend and block me if I try to add them to get to know them better, even as a friend.

It’s because your not interesting. At least not initially. You have to spark their interest otherwise they will feel they are wasting their time and, more importantly, yours.

They don’t even tell me that they’re busy. No answer at all. If I ask them out, they have boyfriends or say no. They also don’t keep in touch during breaks.

Again... no interest/arousal. You mentioned you go to class so I’ll give you a stupid metaphor. I’m a salesman. I sell binders. You have one. You are open to the idea of getting one even though you have one. I’m trying to sell you one that is the same value, or worse, then the one you might have. Are you going to buy it? Are you going to answer my phone calls? No. Your going to ignore them likely.

I am usually tired after class or am afraid of finding out that she’s uninterested in me or already has a boyfriend (which always happens to me).

Don’t rationalize your failures. Your not tired. Also that’s a normal emotion. No one likes rejection. But rejection is 1000 times better than regret. Look you’re going to get rejected again. That’s just how it is. Not going to get every girl. Keep approaching. You’ll get numb eventually.

I lack experience to flirt with women

Well this is painstakingly obvious lol.

How do I start dating at 22 if I’m inexperienced and girls don’t want to get to know me?

I was 23 when I finally lost my virginity man... so don’t feel too bad.

So look guy.... nothing is wrong with you. But you need to change it up. Right? If your doing the same thing and expecting different results then that’s insanity.

Before we even start talking about to how to improve your game let’s get some core basics down first. Homework time! Let’s start here:

read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi and The Manipulated Man by Esther Villar. This gives you a good foundation of inter gender relationships and how they relate to each other... basically you need to understand women and that’s what these books do.
If your not already start lifting and get into better shape. This is to increase your confidence and give you more opportunities to game women.
Now let’s work on game a little bit here. Nothing is going to beat experience so it will become second nature. But you gotta start somewhere. Let’s pick up another book. The Game by Neil Strauss. Interesting book this one but it gives you some good tips for building up your game. CnF. Push/Pull. Not being available/responding to every message. There is a method to the madness.

If your savvy enough you can get all those books for free on the inter webs. They are not hard reads at all The Game is really entertaining.

Goldfielddid911 · 2020-01-24T10:57:14+00:00

Wtf... I feel like I wrote this post. I just have to say man, I’m your same age and I have all the same fears. I go to uni as well and it’s a rough time attempting to find mutual interest.

I get rejected a lot like you. Most say they’re taken but the ones that are single, they’ll just not answer when you do receive contact info. Just because I’m assuming you’re like me, I have to ask you one question. How often are you approaching and socializing with women on campus? For me, i have to admit to myself first that I’m not talking to enough women and putting myself out there. I’m not there yet.

This could just be just me but I feel the biggest roadblock for me is excuses. “She probably has a boyfriend.” “She probably only dates muscular guys.” “She’s probably not in the mood to talk.” So to overcome those excuses, I think we both need to gain some perspective.

If you have your fitness, grooming, and style on point, you’re on the right track. What I’m about to say is an example with my last sentence. A cute uni girl is sitting alone, reading a book, on her laptop, or doing homework. All of sudden, she sees this well-groomed and sort of cute guy come her way. He asks for her name and then he starts making small talk with her( asking about classes, major, etc). He leaves the conversation after telling her to have a wonderful rest of her day.

I almost guarantee you will make her day because I firmly believe most girls don’t get randomly approached. I still have approach anxiety but after knowing this, I still get nervous in person.

In a nutshell, just keep asking different women. It’s hard to know exactly your situation but if we’ve both been unsuccessful this long, it’s most likely just us. I’m going to try just making small talk with women at my college and not go for contact info. Building a base with women in college I think is vital for success with them. I’m very certain most college women don’t want to fuck some guy they’ve only interacted with once or twice. Having a genuine interest in them is vital because if you’re just looking for a fuck, they got a radar that shit. Anyway, good luck :) my advice may not pertain to you but ultimately I wanted you to know you have at least one man in your exact situation. You’re never alone.

Title	Women don’t even want to get to know me, so I don’t know how to flirt with them, if I can’t even connect with them. What do I do??
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	January 24, 2020 10:11 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/et8g5v/women_dont_even_want_to_get_to_know_me_so_i_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/women-dont-even-want-to-get-to-know-me-so-i-dont.1489105 https://theredarchive.com/post/1489105

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