Hi all,

I've been here a while and would like to share a field report and perspective.

Field report: from a little while back. Perceptions are retrospective in term of facilitating the understanding RP/BP perspective.

Part I:At this time I am Beta bitch, trying in my beta-understanding way to "win” the affections of a post-wall carousel girl. There is me, post-wall (PW) girl (I didn't see it then) and two of her friends. We're at the local pub, in the country - a sociological challenge in itself - and I see a HB8 who I work with. She has a partner. It appears she's had plenty of social lubricant as she screeeeams out my name embraces me and looks her denim, mini-skirted left leg around me. "Nice tatt.", I smilingly say. On her left leg is a tattoo of a gun in a holster. We chat for a while and I leave her to her friends. I'd thought at times how I'd like to bang her yet the Beta-respect and Beta-boundaries helped me be the “nice guy” that I was.

Part II: I'm heading towards the bar, but one of post-wall girl's friend is being hit on. I didn't even bother looking at the dynamics. I immediately cock-blocked in my best white-knight frame and led her away. Memory serves. I was on my best beta behaviour and recall that she was smiling at the man I lead her away from. She wanted attention and dick. Uhuh, I would have wanted to dick her at the time but I was preoccupied with PW girl.

Part III: We're (PW & 2 female friends) loitering near the women's toilets. An 18 year old HB7 who works in a restaurant in town sees me. I see her too. She screeeeams out my name and embraces me. She babbles a few drunken sentences and staggers off. Post-wall girl, who I am interested in mutters: “Young girls and their hot bodies”. Beta me was just enjoying the interaction, unaware of the sexual vehemence that the sagging, aged consciousness holds for the younger, tighter female.

Part IV: We're out the front of the pub, discussing what to do now. I walk up to PW girl, embrace her and kiss her. Hey, I'm still sober, beta and I (think) know what I want.

I ended up in a 9 month relationship with PW girl. I had a well-paid job which “allowed” me to provide for/supplement her. Most of this time I was angry at whatever and never understood why. The relationship dynamic swayed from anger to apology to submittance. Always I submitted. She broke it off and Alpha fucked.

I was remorseful and apologetic for my ways wanting nothing less than to atone for my sins then one day, browsing through social media I found the word hypergamy. I found The Rational Male. I found The Red Pill and swallowed. Epiphany. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression (Bitter), Acceptance. To movement.

There is no movement that exists outside self-movement. Thus I must move in a way that betters myself and therefore humankind.

To recall my movments in this life, a string of LTR's and more ONS than I can be bothered recalling, one thing resounds, I feel free. I may not be free in the context of the current socio-economic paradigm yet this is my reckoning. Freedom from the social chains and teachings, freedom from societies morays thus, the freedom to think for myself.

Red pill tenet and precept has not only opened my eyes but opened my being, my understanding and awareness, where every interaction has a purpose. The last relationship has brought me here, to what I would see as a profundity. To all newbies, junior masters and senior citizens, I can only offer all the best in your journey. Take care of literal translations, watch your anger and love as you would wish to be loved.