I think we have 2 desires:

1) The desire to do something productive, whether this is work, learn a language, write a book, practise playing the guitar, etc. We feel better and more confident after doing this.

2) The desire to do something that we believe will make us more attractive, or help us do better with the gender we are attracted to.

Some PU gurus make it seem like approaching all the time will fulfill the 2nd desire, and make us do better with girls. They even talk about it, by saying guys need to approach thousands of girls all the time to develop the skill. Or that a person is wasting their time by dping something else and not approaching.

But how true is this?

What if a guy only has to do a few hundred approaches to learn the technical skills of approaching?

What if how to become attractive is to spend more time on Productive activities and improve other areas of our life?

We see this at nightclubs, where the guy who goes out just to approach gives off a different energy and body language, and it becomes much harder. Whereas the guy that spends most of his time doing other things, then when he goes out to a nightclub to relax, he has a better energy and body language, which girls are attracted to. In some cases, girls will go up and start dancing with a guy like this.

But because some guys on the internet say to keep approaching, there are guys who spend all their time approaching, and still see no results.

I know when I was brainwashed, I would approach, approach, approach, because I thought it was making me more attractive. And I ignored my need to do something productive like concentrating on my career, exercising, etc. Which wasn't healthy, and not good for my soul. But I believed to be more attractive, I had to approach. Which I now realize was wrong. But at the time I had two competing tasks I would focus: Approach to become more attractive, Work on my goals to become more Productive.

It's only now that I realize by following my need to do something productive, I'm also becoming attractive. As being productive is being attractive. As in Work on my goals makes me more Productive, which is also Attractive. The 2 desires I have can fulfilled by the same path, rather than having 2 different paths and being in conflict on how to dedicate my time. It was a mental shift I had to make.

I'm not saying to ignore social skills. But now I spend 95% of my time on other stuff, and only 5% on social stuff and approaching.

This may seem obvious to some of you, to others what I said may not have made sense. Either way, writing this out was really helpful for me. I still need to work on this concept so it makes more sense. But if you read this far, thank you.