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[–]norwegiandoggo 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
You might believe deep down that you're not worthy. You have to self validate your worth. Rather than have her determine your worth. You're relying on external validation from her to determine your worth. Instead you should internally validate yourself. Ie. be aware of your self talk. Any negative self talk needs to be reframed to positive.
[–]throwawayzibil 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What should I do? Positive affirmations?
[–]norwegiandoggo 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No. Thought reframing. Write down your limiting beliefs and write down more helpful alternatives for each belief you have around this situation.
[–]SOG_87 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow that really helps me too, as I am still working on learning to love and accept myself and have been very word-oriented to a fault in the past
[–]AslanNoob 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hi, where did you learn this specific thing? I would love to learn more about self talk and validating from within
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Psychology science. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. And also studies on external and internal motivation
[–]Higheroctopus -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Alot of things humans do are the result of conditioning or experience. We are our minds and our mind is our body, we have control over our mind it's just that our past experiences affect thought process since we are just bald monkeys and we still follow these ancient things embedded in our DNA since our body is always trying to preserve itself. You can find these ideas of self reflection and self actualization in psychology, while studying things like ego and conscienceness but theyve been around for a long time in things like buddhism/Hinduism
[–]greenwaffulz 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Actually the easiest way is to befriend a super hot girl. In college I sat next to this girl that was intimidating hot (you know the kind where guys would pay money to fly her out to Vegas, Miami etc) didn't hurt her case that she had bleach blonde and fake boobs which I personally like. I'd fumble my words around her and be super nervous just in her presence since I wasn't used to being with a girl of that hotness. However what I did was I friend zoned myself on purpose. I hung out with her a lot and over time I actually got "desensitized" to her hotness. After a while I treated her just like an average looking female friend. This actually got her slightly into me later on but the bigger takeaway is that I was able to approach girls of similar hotness a lot easier after that, since hot girls tend to hang with other hot girls I met a lot of her other female friends. And when I wasn't with her super hot girls didn't phase me at all. So yes, friend zone your self with the hottest girl out there and you ll get a crazy return!
[–]KeyImprovement3 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like this comment alot, thanks King
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Be cool and don’t fuck it up. I’ve been in your situation and every time I got anxious, needy, and displayed other traits of non-confidence, they ended up ghosting. Just relax and roll with things - if you’re fucking her you’re already “worthy” in her eyes.
[–]throwawayzibil 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It already seems like I fucked it up but we’ll see for sure soon. Thanks bro
[–]Paige_Pants 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its never too late to change your attitude
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[–]norwegiandoggo 19 points20 points21 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayzibil 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SOG_87 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AslanNoob 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Higheroctopus -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greenwaffulz 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]KeyImprovement3 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayzibil 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Paige_Pants 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link