I'm new to trp, and old. How do you get to not pay for drinks or dinner etcetera?

stickfiguresk · 2015-06-18T01:17:59+00:00

Avoid situations in which expensive chivalry is expected--meet at coffee shops and buy your coffee and sit before she gets there.

Also, look at situations in which you can exploit the free lunch. Men feel like they need to pay because it could endear them to the other person--it's a power play when its between men or co-workers. If you can frame it as a favor, or charity even, then she will either back off or be indebted to you.

Does she offer to pay her half and you let her? The power is even.

Does she offer, but you insist to pay? she has your money, and the gesture is taken for granted. She has the power.

Does she not offer, but you insist she pays her half? She has the power.

Law 40: Despise the Free Lunch

Does she not offer, but you frame yourself paying for her as, "a favor"? You have the power.

In conclusion, either let her pay her half, or offer to pay, "as a favor." Make a show of it. This will look petty if done incorrectly.

Do you need me to pay for you?

CalvinHobb3s · 2015-06-18T01:20:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

prodigy2throw · 2015-06-18T02:28:51+00:00

Another thing I do before meeting is text shit that makes it somewhat known i'm not paying.

Eg. "First rounds on you"

RPmatrix · 2015-06-18T02:13:06+00:00

You can also 'flip' the dynamic by saying something like "I thought women wanted to be treated 'equally' with men, these days?" ..... then a long pause, followed by something like

"Hey! You know, I'm all for women's equality too so! Tell you what! I can help empower you .... I'll let you pay for me!"

Although such lines take strong frame, the reactions they can initiate are pretty amusing! (choke!)

prodigy2throw · 2015-06-18T02:27:06+00:00

I've found if you project high enough smv and frame these women expect to split the bill with you. The only time I've ended up paying since finding TRP and actually following it was once with an entitled Egyptian chick and once with a 22 yo single mom. Lost frame and didn't have abundance mentality. Other than those, I always split and when the waitress asks I say it up front.

Only thing I'm thinking is if you are older and pick a high end place to meet and you're meeting a student it would be weird. But you shouldn't be meeting at a fancy place. A local pub or coffee shop should be fine.

ThrowingMyslfOutther · 2015-06-18T14:59:37+00:00

Don't meet for drinks. Simple.

Arrange to meet in a public park for a nice walk.

And don't worry, I'm probably older than you, not all young bucks here. :-)

moresmarterthanyou · 2015-06-18T05:39:31+00:00

im gonna stray here and get downvoted. I usually pick up dinner or the first round (or split) and say they can get the next one/dessert. I set the presedence for a 50/50 split.

slcjosh · 2015-06-18T04:52:25+00:00

I just say ahead of time that we are going Dutch. If she has a problem with it, she isn't worth going on a date with.

Title	I'm new to trp, and old. How do you get to not pay for drinks or dinner etcetera?
Author	Whiskytoast
Upvotes	19
Comments	32
Date	June 18, 2015 1:07 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3a8dqo/im_new_to_trp_and_old_how_do_you_get_to_not_pay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-new-to-trp-and-old-how-do-you-get-to-not-pay.150188 https://theredarchive.com/post/150188

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