Failed classes, fired at work, and depression. Where do I go from here?

Poldonis · 2015-06-18T21:49:51+00:00

As always, go lift. Besides the endorphins that will be released to help with the depression, you will learn what pain is.

The more positive physical pain you can endure the less mental shit gets to you

ebehrends · 2015-06-18T22:13:26+00:00

Self first.

This one depending on age, quit school. If you are in college and can't pass that shit stop going. Why waste 5 figures a year, when you aren't making shit, if you are either 1 too stupid, 2 too lazy, or 3 too distracted to get any value at all out of it. If you are in high school or younger and can't pass, then I can't fucking help you, because the entire system is literally set up to help the lowest common denominator.

Next. Get a job. Any job. Fast food. Walmart. Shit, volunteer if you can't find a job. Just do something and pour your goddamned self into it. I don't mean show up on time do your work, whatever, be average, I mean literally POUR YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMNED SELF INTO IT. Don't just work, be the best one there. Don't bitch when someone else isn't stepping up, just walk over to where they are standing and do their work for them. Don't even take a thank you just stay shut the fuck up and go back to what you were doing. Don't kiss ass, just kick it. It doesn't matter what anyone says, there is pride to anything, if you are the best at it. Take ownership and pride over your work. Sure others will notice and it might help you to use them as references down the line but that is not the fucking point. The point is be fucking awesome so at the end of the day when you lay down in bed, rather than feeling like another day was fucking wasted, you are tired and content, knowing you did something today. That worthless sack of shit feeling you get at the end of a long day playing league of legends or watching netflix? That is less likely to be a disease, and more likely to be your body telling you to get off your ass tomorrow. That content feeling of sore muscles and well-earned sleep? That is your body saying "good fucking job, lets go do this tomorrow" after you just got done kicking ass at ANYTHING.

Free time? Sounds like the gym buddy. Not the bar. Not your 25 year old friends basement for a smoke sesh while his parents are gone. Not the couch for hours of dreaming after some daddy type in leather fucking some little faggot that looks like you in the ass. Go to the gym. Lift. Run. Walk on the treadmill in your nike sports bra, because that is still infinitely more RP than sitting on your ass.

As far as your depression goes, admit what it is. Our BP culture would have you believe that depression is a disease. This is only kind of true. Depression, while it can be a mental condition, is more often a symptom of, not the source of, your problems. Not happy with yourself? A drug from some shrink won't make you proud of yourself if you aren't worth shit. If you aren't worth shit, first make yourself into something, and then re-evaluate how you feel about the whole self-worth thing later.

If bitches are your problem then grow the fuck up. If you are on this sub then you have already seen most things that can be said on the subject of LTRs and shit like that.

TLDR; SELF FIRST. Self-actualization is an important need of all humans, and if you aren't reaching your potential, then feeling good about yourself would actually be a disservice.

ball-in-ass · 2015-06-18T22:58:52+00:00

What are you doing with all of your time man? I'm assuming you neglected all of your duties at school and work.

The prescription should help you a lot with the motivation, for the short term. Focus on getting on the right path and forming habits along the way. Hopefully habits you can keep for a lifetime. Most of success is simply habit forming.

Algernoq · 2015-06-19T00:22:33+00:00

Take medical withdrawal from school (give them your depression diagnosis) so you can go back in a year once you have your shit together and aren't addicted anymore. You might be able to keep last semester off your transcript with a retroactive medical withdrawal. Ask for this. Then, lift and work instead of being addicted.

abdada · 2015-06-18T21:56:10+00:00

Addicted to either:

Video games?
Porn?

tuxedoburrito · 2015-06-18T22:16:35+00:00

Sleep 8 hours nightly.

Eat healthy food, drink water.

Nofap.

Lift 3x week.

Run 30 mins daily.

Meditate daily.

Cold showers daily.

Say hello to people you pass, initiate conversation, connect with others, build confidence.

tuxedoburrito · 2015-06-18T23:09:36+00:00

Open your mouth baby bird style, because you're about to get some mama bird knowledge, bro.

This is probably the only time you'll hear this on this sub, but fuck yeah dude. Congratulations. You're making the right step by first admitting you have a problem, and secondly by coming here.

You're seeking advice from fellow men on what to do. You're not going to get feel good answers, you're going to get honest truth.

Step 1) you're not the victim. YOU are the reason you're unhappy. I have been depressed and suicidal in the past. I was a victim of my circumstances in my head. You are not just a subject of your circumstances. You cannot control what people did or do to you but you damn sure can control how you respond.

READ THIS

Step 2) Start lifting. Go to /r/fitness or /r/bodybuilding or /r/gainit

Don't just nilly willy. Go to a fucking gym. Not planet fitness or crunch, but a real gym with squat racks and barbells. Start doing the Strong Lift 5x5 program. I know lots of dudes on it, and I'm about to graduate the program. It works. It's simple.

You've got to have the mindset in the gym that it doesn't matter what weight you're on in comparison to others. you're better than you were yesterday and youll be better tomorrow than you are today. The only person you need to compare yourself to IS yourself. Be better than yourself.

Read. Read. Read. Everything on the sidebar. Read Models by Mark Manson Read No More Mr Nice Guy by Rob Glover

Change your diet. Start eating healthy. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN. WATER. Lots and lots of water. /r/eatcheapandhealthy /r/nutrition

Spend your money wisely /r/personalfinance . time to start saving and spending your money well

When you wake up, early in the morning, set an alarm and get up. make your bed. Shave (unless you have a beard). Get dressed, no sweatpants. Actually dress for the day. Clean your room.

You should be cleaning your clothes, room, sheets, house at LEAST once a week. Keep your car and house clean, keep your body clean by showering daily, keep your mind clean by quitting porn and start doing noFap, and keep the inside of your body clean by eating healthy/ lots of water.

You should be eating 3x a day AT LEAST. When you wake up, eggs, bacon/sausage, toast, oatmeal, OJ, black coffee. lunch, lots of lean meat and veggies, dinner the same. 3 full meals a day, when youre doing this right you wont need snacks. Cook your own meals. All of em. This will also make you happy to prepare something yourself, I dont mean microwave, I mean boil the noodles, cook the sausage and warm up the spaghetti sauce in a pot yourself over a stove.

Okay, so to recap.

eat clean, lean meats, veggies, lots of water, no fast food, no junk food

sleep 8 hours every night

work out, lift 3x a week, the other stuff you can add down the road (personally I lift MWF heavy weight, low reps (SL5x5), and then I rock climb Tues and Thurs nights, and I run W and F's after lifting. You can message me if you want to know my running drills, but I do mostly sprint training not so much long distance)

clean your room

take pride in personal appearance

read books. Other good books to read, How to Win Friends & Influence Others, the art of war, etc

For now? Deactivate your tinder, instagram, facebook, snapchat, all of that. For now. Not permanently. In this transition phase it's going to be really hard. You want change? You gotta focus on yourself these next few weeks/ months. It's going to be hard but to get something youve never had youll have to do something youve never done.

When I started this TRP I weighed a lot less, never made any gains in the gym (though I worked out 5-6x a week), I didnt eat well, I was passed up for a promotion at work, and I lived in another part of the US. Since I started I was offered a managerial job that I didnt take, Ive switch jobs now twice for an increase in pay ($600 extra a month, so works out for me), change my diet, started eating cleaner, I moved 2,000 miles away from home to start new as who I am now. Not perfect, but learning to be a good and better man.

All my old friends didnt ever want to work out, run, lift, rock climb, anything. They just wanted to eat and watch netflix. Fuck that life. That was my life. I literally moved across country to start a new life with new friends with my new persona and its been hard but so good.

You gotta make changes.

Like /u/ebehrends said, you need to start working. Put school off for now, start working full time. Whatever you do, do it with gusto, with teeth. Give it meaning. Have purpose, be the best even if it is just pushing carts at Target. Who the hell cares? You're making money and working hard, learning life skills, experiencing life.

You're lifting just the bar on the bench press? Sick. Next week you'll be lifting the bar plus ten pounds (55lbs) Then the next, you'll be lifting 60lbs. Until you can get up to 300lbs. Youll get there, it doesnt happen over night, but youll get there.

Slow. Steady. Youll make it buddy.

You are not defined by your failures. You are not defined by your shortcomings.

You are a man. Made in the image of God. You are the product of hundreds of millions of years of evolution. You are a man. Time to start living like one.

Shia Lebouf motivation

None of this matters if you dont start wiggling the big toe. So wiggle your damn big toe. RIGHT NOW. Clean your room, put out the candles and dry those tears, cover up your man titties and start pulling yourself together.

rocky speech

any given sunday speech

FUCK YEAH DUDE. YOU GOT THIS.

BE THE MAN YOU WERE MADE TO BE.

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. YOULL LOOK BACK IN FIFTY YEARS AT SOME YOUNG KID AND TELL HIM WHAT IM TELLING YOU NOW.

So fucking rise up.

You have worth. You're a human being, DAMN IT. Act like it.

Edit: Also, I'd recommend getting something to take care of. Like a gold fish for first. Then maybe once that dies (within a few months, circle of life bro), get a puppy. Something where YOU HAVE to take care of it or it dies. You have to feed it, clean it, walk it. Itll get you out more, exercise more, itll make you happy to take care of something, and its an easy icebreaker in meeting people (especially cute girls).

Title	Failed classes, fired at work, and depression. Where do I go from here?
Author	ball-in-ass
Upvotes	3
Comments	28
Date	June 18, 2015 9:43 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3ac10z/failed_classes_fired_at_work_and_depression_where/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/failed-classes-fired-at-work-and-depression-where.150219 https://theredarchive.com/post/150219

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