My therapist says i need to find where this "starving" is coming from, when i talked about me looking for women (in the beginning of my journey, so no success yet)

norwegiandoggo · 2020-11-07T14:13:10+00:00

I think what she means is that if you're looking for all these things to make you happy then you are fucking yourself. Because they won't make you happy nor will it make you feel worthy or fulfilled.

To feel worthy of love and to be happy is something you must accomplish completely separate from reaching your dating goals.

If you think "once I just have A, then I'll be happy" then you're wrong.

I think she wants to help you realize this.

Icy_History_4728 · 2020-11-07T14:01:34+00:00

I found that experts generally fall into the 80:20 rule. 80% are so average or bad at what they do they barely lend value to you. You need to find someone in the 20%, because of the 20% 10% are really pretty good at what they do and the top 10% are nothing short of awesome.

I started with one that sucked so bad and I HAD NO CLUE OTHER THAN IT WASN'T WORKING. A guy I know (may he R.i.P.) recommended a counselor who helped me so very much that I couldn't be the person I am today without him. And he had an office in a little tiny location that made me think twice before even going in there.

If your internal guide is not liking what you're hearing, TRUST YOUR GUIDE. Try someone else. What you seek is not bad and maybe she's just plain full of shit. Don't know. But don't be passive about getting another opinion.

2020-11-07T14:18:43+00:00

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2020-11-07T15:47:15+00:00

Therapy wont do shit in your life or fix any your problem. It will just make you accept yourself at where you are at.If you are not what you want to be,that never a good thing.Telling you from personal expirience.She asking you where this starving is coming from.

If she have told me that,I would tell her to go fuck herslef,or to look at my dick closer and see where this starving is coming from. You are male and you want to fuck females,there is not anthing more natural than that on this world.

She doesnt have anything better to tell you,so she is throwing shit at you,because you paid after all.Thats how I see it.

StephenDawg · 2020-11-08T02:43:38+00:00

You might need a male therapist. Even if the guy says the same thing, he might understand it from a fundamentally different place, as he's more likely to have tread some of this same ground, personally.

I also don't think asking "why" you want that is necessarily an admonition. Although, truthfully, I'd be more inclined to suspect it is than isn't. Still, there might be some valid insights about escaping your unhappiness by chasing highs, or placing too much validation outside of yourself, not having strong and rewarding internal values etc. Then again, sometimes it's also the case that other people don't know what is going to ultimately motivate you, and you have to understand that sometimes other people really won't understand. It's been said, "Following the herd invites regression towards the mean".

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