Dated a lovely woman for a little over a month, ended up sabotaging myself along the way ending in her never wanting to speak to me again. Here's some things that i learned which will repel or cause resistance:

  1. Do not form an attachment. If you have one, let it go.
  2. Don’t be controlling because wanting = control = manipulation
  3. No chasing, looking for validation, approval or thinking in terms of success/outcome.
  4. Do things for no other reason then to make someone happy. Don't do it with expectations.
  5. Live in the present, do better than yesterday but don’t focus on the future. Focusing on the future makes you have ideas that turn into expectations. When it doesn't work out in the end, having expectations will cause you to hurt. You can't hurt if you have no expectations. Expectations repel and can ruin something that could have been great.
  6. A bad childhood can effect you without you knowing it. For example my dad left when i was 5 years old and i realized recently that it made me feel unworthy/unwanted. It made me a shy introvert looking for external happiness through another person. I ended up seeking validation and was needy.
  7. Realize that by default your existence = worthiness. There is nothing wrong with you. You don't need to seek validation, be needy or feel insecure.
  8. Worthiness = happiness = self worth = no need for external happiness. If worthiness by default isn't enough for you to have happiness then you need to tackle that before dating.

I know 6-8 can be a little contradictory but basically you have to come to the realization that bad things in your past may have an effect on you today even though it shouldn't. You need to come to terms with it and be okay with yourself before dating.