So I learned a lot. My plan (as detailed in my last report) was to deal with my nervousness about asking a girl to dance and dancing with her in a sensual way. Me and some supportive friends went out in SF to a club and I decided to enjoy myself, but try to really ask a girl to dance and get physical/lead. After a while, I found what I thought was the most attractive single girl in the club and approached her. After talking a bit, I mustered up the courage to ask her and her friend if she wanted to dance with me and my friend. At first, it felt a bit awkward because I think she was down but her friend wasn’t but her friend gave in eventually. Once we got to the dance floor I think I was a bit unprepared though. I think of myself as a good dancer. But I learned a clear lesson in that being a good solo dancer is not the same as being a good lead. Because of that, I sort of got stuck in dancing face to face in a pretty basic two step regime. It was fun but that’s not what I was going for. We danced, then talked for a while after which was nice. I think it was pretty clear she liked me but I frankly didn’t know what to do with that (hence, why I’m here). She was also a bit young for me (I just turned 27, and she just turned 21). So I politely said I was going to go find my friends, since I didn’t see it going anywhere without a game plan.

The great thing is I was able to deal with a lot of the basic nervousness that is involved with asking a girl to dance and dancing with her. I hear that bravery is doing something even if you’re scared or nervous so I’m encouraged that I was able to do that. However, the other thing I learned was that I assumed some magic was going to happen on the dancefloor and I would learn how to lead (it was a bit of a throwback music club, so going straight to grinding would’ve been a bit odd). The fact is I don’t know how to lead yet. But that I can learn. As fucking embarrassing to myself as this feels, I figured I’d just ask my mom to practice dancing with me. Like twirling, initiating a dip, and basically every basic thing I can pick up. I figured if I know what to do, then next time at least I know what to do. Then it would just be a matter of putting what I’ve learned into action. Thankfully, my moms pretty chill so she’d honestly be stoked I’m even asking her to help me with this. So I’m going to practice with my mom for a week, until it’s like muscle memory, then go back out next weekend, and try again. I’ll probably post again before I head out next week to get a clear game plan together. Thanks for all the helpful comments guys, it’s really appreciated.