If you feel like I lack information at any point check my other post in r/Divorce

Just sad is all. I’ve done everything I can but to no avail. She says I’m her source of unhappiness. Her mom died 3 years ago, and so did my wife and son’s mom. I’ve been what I think is a good husband, but I know I carry some blame for our impending divorce. I may have pushed her to be a more involved mom because I was drowning doing 95% of the child rearing. (Our kid is 2.5 for anyone wondering). She never went to any grief therapy so I finally told her within the last 6 months that enough was enough. I don’t mind if she takes meds, but she needed to go talk to someone about it too. Boy do I regret that now. Instead of talking grief she somehow just bitches about me and has come to the conclusion with her therapist that divorce is the best answer.

Prior to this we did therapy together for 6 months. She didn’t take it seriously and only went because “I wouldn’t quit pestering her to go.” So that was a flop. She didn’t like that the therapist was critical of the both of us and not just me. Said she “only gave us stuff to read all the time”, and while she did read it I don’t think she learned anything.

I just wanted to fix things. She works Monday-Friday and I’m a student three days a week and a stay at home dad the other two. We are both off weekends. The days I do school our son goes to daycare. She just had to bring him and pick him up those days since it’s near her job. Monday-Friday I do everything for our son. I mean everything. She’ll sometimes do bath time, but other than that she is hands off. I said okay as long as she helps me on the weekends when we are both home and she agreed. That hasn’t happened and we butt heads constantly. She says “you do it 5 days a week what’s another 2 days?”, and I just want a partner. It doesn’t feel like a partnership when I still do the majority of things with our son. I love time with him, but I feel that’s all I do. I barely have time to shit by myself, and she makes a big deal if I do. No joke.

I know she has grief but it’s been 3 years since her mother’s passing. I know it will never be the same, but for her to day in and day out just lay in bed while I do everything isn’t sustainable. She says I’m being selfish and I need to let her heal. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point. I’ve given her everything she says she needs and to her it’s still not enough.

Sorry for the rant. I’m just a broken guy right now.