Hi, I have recently started my red pill journey. I am 39m, wife 41f, together 14 years, 7 years married, 2month old kid, body stat - 5'8", 171lbs, 25% bf, working out for last 2 years (2-3 times a week).

I've started to realize that what my wife said to her friend is true—I do have some compulsion to please my mom. I guess many boys do (I think there is a term or book that is being referenced in this community about man's monogamous relationship with mother)! So I need to start working on it. I remember how I've always kept my mom's interests as a top priority and made Dad leave the house. Although there was no better option at that time, and I did what I had to do best, I have always cared for my mom's interests. When she is around, I am probably working within her frame. That has to slowly end. I need to work on this.

Anyway, this post is because I want to talk about my weaknesses in swallowing the red pill. The first one identified is that when Mom is in our house with me and my wife, I am always worried that my wife will disrespect her or say things that my mom will not like. My wife also becomes very powerful because she can do a lot of stuff subtly, like giving a bitchy attitude to Mom. So I lose my frame and jump to defend my mom. Like this morning, my wife gave a little bitchy attitude to my mom, and last night I had maintained my frame, but in the morning, I whined to her, asking if she has a problem with my mom. To which she started whining back and making herself the victim, saying, "Why do you always ask as if I did something wrong to your mom?" So I lost my frame; I should have completely ignored her bitchy attitude. But how should I respond because my mom is here for another two months, and my wife has a lot of powerful tactics to play (subtly) to piss off my mom.

Anyway, I talked to my mom today openly, where she herself admitted that she should not be staying with us and that no parents should be staying with their kids. This made me feel a lot more at peace because my mom understands this dynamic, and I need not worry about accepting the fact that my wife does not like my mom staying with us. I got back to my powerful frame after this conversation with my mom. But I am worried about the coming two months and how I should navigate them? Can you please give suggestions?

Edit 1 - I just want to add a little bit more context to my situation. I come from a country with eastern values, where the man takes care of parents and parents living with their son's family (wife and kids) is the norm. My wife, on the other hand, comes from a western country where parents live separately from their kids. I can clearly see that this (my mom living with us) is not going to work in our marriage, and I am now okay with that. In fact, I too think I cannot live with my mom and need my space, but I do want to take care of her in the event she is sick and has nowhere to go. My dad passed away, and my mom lives in my home country while I live in a western country. I'm adding this situation to provide some more context to my post