A lot of men here complain that their ex wifes took a lot of their money and half of their retirement money. I am almost at the opposite position. In the country I am, retirement is obligatory and automatically paid from your waiges and is spilt within the time you are married 50:50.

If you have your own business or are freelancer, retirement is your own business. From 17 years of marriage I was freelancer for 12 years. In those days I paid into a retirement kind of fond which turned out not to be counted as retirement money but as property. We both agree that we will not take any property from eachother which is legally easy. So I keep my retirement to 100% (and she keeps her share of a country house and very expensive paintings etc).

If you divorce, retirement money is spilt into 50:50 automatically unless you had a marriage agreement before you married, or both agree to make an agreement during marriage. Every body thinks it is impossible to change this 50:50 solution, but my lawyer (and she doesn't want to get a lawyer) says it is possible and not a big deal to change it, IF both agree. My lawyer asked how I want to deal with this before my ex will also join the legal part.

I choose not to get an agreement and therefor she will automaticly have to give up 50% of her retirement money. I know her main question to my lawyer will be, is there a possibility to not have to share her retirement.

It's basically a very bad idea to only take 1 lawyer especially for women but she wants to get over with it (she wanted the divorce) and it seems she is very devout to anything I ask for. My lawyer already warned me that this devout attitude can rapidly change. Women are warned at social media to not take 1 lawyer just bc of this. But she doesnt seem to look in the internet to ger any information.

It is totally unclear how much money we are talking about. But it is the law, and like many men here she is just at the Bad site of the law. She will inherent a lot of money and all shares of the country house, I won't. I didn't invest in buying a house bc she always said we don't need to bc we will inherete a house ...

Shall I take 50% her retirement or just waive away this right?