I don't want to make it too long, you can read my first post for the contex here - https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/1d7hhc6/im_broke_for_the_first_time_in_my_life_30yr_old/

but I just turned 30, and wow life is shit right now.

I was so happy early to mid 20s, used to travel a lot, had lots of friend and social.

now I'm in the house, broke and can barely pay for food... I lost $2k this month from crypto trading (gambling basically). I tried because It felt like this is my way out of the rut.

I don't make much money these days and I live in an expensive city, I can't go back to my hometown since I have the get away from my family expectations. also all of my friends are either married with kids or about to. I'm the only one who is single.

I chose to get a visa and move to the US to make music. I was so happy. I got approved. but everything went downhill so bad.. I got heartbroken and it wrecked me for a whole year. and now after I finally got over her I crashed my car (I cancelled my insurance a week before the accident because I wanted to sell my car and thought I don't need it no more) which made me lose more money.

now I'm 30, broke and with no car. I can't even get out of the house since I have no money to spend. I don't go out with my friends since I'm ashamed of telling them I'm that broke (they're not good friends anyway)

the hardest part is that I can't even find a 2nd job legally. I still make money as a musician but only for the rent and basic stuff. I lost all my money taking that risk and chasing my dreams, I could've had 2 of my own houses by now if I stayed in my hometown and stack..

I don't know what to do, I'm a musician and It's just hard to create while I'm on survival mode all the time.

on top of the I lost the last $2k I have left on crypto. I'm so fucked. I don't know how I will be able to pay the rent or even buy another car.

I listed my guitars on fb marketplace, I'm ashamed of myself. my family thinks I have a good life but I'm lonely and it's hard.

I love music but I need money to live first. I want to enjoy my life and not wake up stressed and tired. I want to go on dates but I'm broke. I'm tired guys.. I have tears in my eyes. next stop is to be homeless. and no I will have to go back home in that case.

I'm just ashamed and can't believe I'm 30 and so broke. I used to be a different guy back then. what happened to me. I can't go to work on random jobs because my visa won't allow me. and I know that if I leave the city, I can say goodbye to my dreams, I have to make it but I keep losing. when I finally healed from my heartbreak, I got into an accident which made me pay a lot.

I'm a positive guy and I'm passionate about music and success, but I'm going through the toughest years in my life, and that's come from an ex military guy.

anyway, I stopped spending money I don't have but can't imagine how much I need to work for the extra 2k I've lost. that was my rent money. fuck.

never shared this with anyone, I'm thinking about selling all of my stuff and just go to Thailand or a cheap country for a few months. I don't want to deal with the stress any more. I want to make more money and start living my life. music is fun but it's hard to be stable with it. but I don't know which direction to go.. I have no other passions besides that , sports and crypto (which made me lose a lot of money, but I still see the huge potential to change my life forever).

I will be honest, my issue is 100% money-related, I workout and eat clean every day and physically I look better than ever. it's just money issues. I love my family and friends but since I have no money i can't seem to enjoy life.