Hey TRP,

I am a 17 y.o high school junior.

I have been reading TRP for a few months and it had a really big impact on my life.

The thins is I have a few problems;

1- I have narcissistic/egoistical tendency. I know it generally helps with women, because of dark triad, but it makes me look down on people, nearly all of them and in result, I get lonelier and lonelier in this life. I have no best-friends or anything like that because of this. Some people find me offensive/repulsive and don't hang out with me or want to talk etc. They don't tell to my face btw, this is my interpretation. They try to avoid me sometimes, not directly also.

2- Contradicting with the first problem, I also have the inferiority complex. I feel inadequate with many people. Have looks issues in general but not just that. I feel like people don't tell me but they find me repulsive, sometimes. I have hard time trusting people.

3- At the same time I have very loving (at least they tell, and sometimes make me feel so) friends. Many people find me interesting and think I'm wise/sophisticated for my age etc. But these people rarely come back to me, probably because of the problem #1.

4- I have confidence issues and never sure of myself. Low self esteem is a problem of mine, but I still am an egoist, looking down on people and think I'm the best at everything. Right now I am admitting that this is a problem, but when it comes to a real-life situation, I become that "I know everything and let me turn this to a monologue-ish discourse" kinda person.

5- I am really people-dependent. Like, I feel anxious talking to new people if I'm not with a close friend. Also I really care about what people think and want to make them like me. I sometimes tell little lies to make them like me etc.

6- I am also afraid to face any kind of confrontations. Recently I had some big arguments with a few people, so getting better at it but still.

About becoming the perfect blend, I want to be a good person who is a real man, also a person who is highly respected in the community, a person who does his thing very good and is excellent in general. I would like to ask you guys about this also, because the community in general focuses on women. I know there are other views in this community and real men are here. I'd like to know how can I achieve this? Because me right now, every aspect of me, concludes the opposite. I am a fucking bitch.

These are the problems I just thought of and written there, I am sure there are a few left but I guess some of you got the whole picture. I read it again and it sounds like I'm a sociopath or something like that, I guess not. Also my problems are very feminine ones I believe, I feel like an omega now.

Please help me about this.

I am open to any criticism or suggestions. It'll be hard for me but I'll read and apply as much as I can, please just help me.

Thanks,

-A