I developed a strong crush on my friend let’s call her “M”, who I’ve known for a while now. We’ve hung out a lot and had some great times—whether it’s going out with friends, watching sports together, joking around, or talking about random topics like politics. At one point, M even handcuffed ourselves together at a party, and we were in a matching couples costume, which I couldn’t help but think was kind of flirty.

Some of my friends even thought she might like me back based on her actions. One time, I showed M and her friend a satirical Venn diagram about the types of girls that each of my friends find attractive. My section said something like "blondes with belly button piercings," and M’s friend laughed and said, “Will, you know you just described M, right?” That comment caught me off guard and made M blush, which made me wonder even more if there was something there.

Eventually, though, the stress of keeping my feelings to myself got to be too much, so I decided to tell her. I texted her, explaining that I’d developed feelings for her beyond just friendship but that I respected her and wanted to be honest. I also made it clear I didn’t want this to make things awkward between us and that I really valued our friendship.

M responded really understandingly, saying she appreciated my honesty and respected me for telling her. She told me that, even though she doesn’t feel the same way, nothing would change between us. She reassured me that we could still hang out as usual, that she didn’t feel awkward about it, and that she’s a pretty lighthearted person who doesn’t take things too seriously.

At this point, though, I’m struggling. I’m dealing with a lot—school stress, the Yankees losing the World Series, and just feeling like things aren’t going my way. It’s tough because I still really like her, and my feelings aren’t going away overnight. Part of me wishes I hadn’t heard from my friends that she might like me because it raised my hopes, and now I feel like I’m just left questioning myself and wondering what went wrong.

Despite everything, I still want her in my life as a friend. I just want to feel that kind of romantic, passionate love, and it’s been difficult to navigate wanting more while trying to respect her feelings and keep things light.