Hey guys, I want to share some practical tips for dealing with nervousness and being overwhelmed, especially when you’re out doing approaches.

This all started during a conversation with one of my students. He’d be doing his "homework" - going out to approach women on his own. Some days were great, but then there were those stretches where he’d walk around for hours feeling negative, anxious, and hence not doing any approaches. And walking around for hours not doing approaches not only feels bad, it also feels like you're wasting a lot of time.

Sound familiar?

I taught him a few exercises that really helped, and I want to pass them on to you. The goal is to break free from those negative spirals so you don’t waste time or energy beating yourself up. Here’s what to do when you get overwhelmed:

Step 1: Recognize and Separate Yourself from Nervousness

When you feel nervous, your mind goes into overdrive - overanalysing, spiraling, and making you feel stuck. The key here is separating yourself from the feeling.

Nervousness is just a feeling. It doesn’t define you. Say to yourself, “My mind is nervous, but that’s okay. I’m still in control.”

This is a classic meditation technique - creating space between you and your thoughts. You can also pair this with a simple breathing exercise like box breathing:

Inhale for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds. Exhale for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds.

This calms your mind and reinforces that nervousness is temporary and manageable.

Step 2: Zoom Out

When you’re overwhelmed, your brain loves to focus on what’s going wrong - bad interactions, no progress, or even bigger doubts like “Why am I not getting results?”

Here’s what to do: Zoom out.

Take a moment to list things you’re grateful for. For example:

You have the ability to go out and meet women (as most guys never even recognize they can improve in this area). You’ve found resources (like this thread) to help you improve.

Even small wins matter. Did you talk to someone yesterday? Did you learn something new last week? Gratitude forces your brain to focus on positives instead of spiraling into negativity.

Step 3: Build social momentum

This is the game-changer. One big reason guys freeze up is because they stop talking to people for too long. When you’re not talking to anyone and just walking around like a zombie, your mind takes over and pulls you into analysis paralysis.

So you just gotta keep talking.

After every approach and conversation, set a timer for 3 minutes.

Within those 3 minutes, talk to someone else. It doesn’t matter who - a shopkeeper, someone at the bus stop, anyone.

And it doesn't even matter what you say - just tell them they have a good style and wish them a good day.

This is about warming up and building momentum, not flirting. You don't need to wait until you find someone you are attracted to because this stage is social momentum stage.

This is a big mistake beginners make - they only wait to find women they are attracted to for "warming up" but because of their anxiety, their brain categorizes most women as unattractive. And once they do find a beautiful girl, they are too scared to approach. Hence you end up with 0 approaches.

So again - in warm up stage you talk to everyone, hence you have much larger pool of people you can talk to.

Once you have 5-6 quick conversations in a row, something clicks. Your brain stops overanalysing because it’s too busy processing all the social input.

When you’re talking to people consistently, you become more present. And when you’re present, it’s almost impossible to feel nervous.

When my student applied these, it completely transformed his approaching experience doing it alone. Instead of walking around and doing 1 approach every 60 minutes, next day he did 11 social warmups and then 5 regular approaches in the same amount of time.

Try these exercises next time you’re out and let me know how it goes!