"What if it was a gift?”

Whatever happens to you, no matter how bad, no matter how bleak you feel, ask yourself, “What if it was a gift?” and then try to rationalize a way it could be so.

Because you see, in the world of emotions, there are no absolutes; you can usually draw whichever conclusions you desire. So why not choose to draw conclusions of blessings, positivity, and gifts?

Ex-girlfriend dumps you and left you for another man. What if it was a gift? Because without her, you would not have been put on this path of self- improvement, and you would have forever been stuck in a relationship full of deceit and without self-awareness.

A woman makes fun of your hair and calls you ugly. What if it was a gift? Such a harsh rejection will steel you into becoming even more confident in the future, and hopefully, will inspire you to re-evaluate how you look.

Your friends tell you that approaching women is creepy and that you’re a loser for wanting to do it. What if it was a gift? It shows that what you’re doing and what you’re working on is pushing social boundaries, is polarizing, and is ultimately making you more controversial and attractive.

When I was 19 years old, a friend of mine drowned right in front of me. We were at a party on a lake. One minute he was there, laughing, smiling, joking, and the next moment he was gone. Forever.

It was one of the biggest gifts I’ve ever been given. Not because it was good. It was tragic. But because of how it affected me ever since.

Obviously, that night was shocking and traumatizing. But I came away from the experience with a keen awareness of how transient this existence is. How any of us can be taken at any moment. How no one is going to live my life for me, and every second I spend sitting around feeling distant from my true desires, avoiding the world and being afraid to engage it, is a second that I’m forfeiting the biggest gift of all: my time here in this life.

His death shocked me, depressed me and scared me, but it scared me into having the courage to take risks, to express myself, to invest in my self-perception more than the perceptions of others. Because after all, sooner or later this will all disappear, and none of it will matter. So you might as well make the most of it while you’re here.

And ultimately, that’s all that I can hope for you. That you make the most of your time here. That you take the tools I’ve laid out here and go out and forge a unique path for yourself and experience the love, the thrills, and the happiness that this life can reward you.

Because that is what life does: it rewards you. It’s giving you gifts every day. Are you going to accept them?

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from Models by Mark Manson