Basic Guide to Flirting for Introverts

Happy Wednesday, gents. I put together a brief, simple email to basic flirting for an introvert friend of mine who struggles a bit, and as, statistically, about half of us are introverts, I thought I would post it. Now go out and have fun!

1 - Openers.

“Hey there.” Wink.

At a bar/party: “Did you invite all these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.”

“Hey I don’t think we have met yet, I’m {your name}.”

Wolfish: “Well, hello there, Little Red Riding Hood…”

{This sounds cheesy, because it is, but it works a surprising amount of the time, because everyone knows the story and you immediately frame yourself as the Wolf.}

Compliment her look using uncommon superlative with a bit of over-the-topness “Well don’t you look {sensational enchanting)” Then introduce yourself.

2 - Over the top teasing – must be CLEARLY playful.

“Oh, so you are a MORNING person. Why do you hate America?" or "How long have you been a terrorist?”

Call out cliches – Her: "I'm not like the other girls. You: “Oh you are SOOOO not like the other girls.”

(not a critique, clearly having fun/being absurd)

3 - Never Blow Your Cool.

Be playful. You are just having fun. Keep the vibe mildly subversive, like you (and maybe her) are the only people who know what’s going on behind the scenes. If she gets jammed up on smth you can fall back on "Relax, we're just having fun. That's why they call it a party" and remove the pressure. It's ok to break the 4th Wall sometimes, such as if you get an unexpected reaction, you might (depending on circumstances) say "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" - The last time this happened to me it had to do with smth in the convo that had occurred before I arrived. Similarly, if you say smth awkward, such as the right thing in the wrong way, you can say "Well that didn't come out right." Release the awkward tension.

4 - Create a safe space for girls to be flirty and sexual. Girls want to be cool, too.

· Go there first on your own without sexualizing the person Ex. “Sorry I didn’t return your call/text right away…I was all tied up!” You (with a hint of naughtiness) “Well…some people are into that, I’ve heard….”

· If she jumps in and plays along, great, if not, do not push it.

· More forward: “Oh, are you into BDSM? Some people like that, I’ve heard.” Wink with tongue click, like the two of you are "in on it." Bear in mind, you’re acting as if discussing such things is complete normal – but you MUST calibrate.

· Playfully misinterpretation. – “Wait, we’re still talking about ___ right?"

· Innuendo

5 - Flirt with the world.

Grannies and babes a like. If a woman see you making people around you laugh, she’s going to become interested.

6 - Understand the difference between light teasing and insults.

“You need adult supervision” is teasing, “You’re a fat moron!” is an insult. Your goal is to make her wet, but not with tears.

7 - Get comfortable with your worst-case scenario.

If you crash and burn you crash and burn. There will be other nights. Go over the game film to learn but – and this is important – Do Not Torture Yourself.

Now, go forth and SLAY!