I just got into a minor altercation with someone that could of gone a lot better if I had been more witty. Instead, it ended with insults and swearing and mental boo boos.

If I had responded to this person with amused mastery and wit, I literally could of had a pleasant conversation with them. This happens a lot, people throw a joke or a dumb line at me like a piece of bait for me to grab build off of with my own wit, and I just fall flat or take it too literally.

For example, I used to work at a clothing donation spot. I had some guy come up to me jokingly asking if he could donate blood. I knew he was kidding, but couldnt think of anything funny to say back.

"Nope, just clothes." "...oh, ok."

I could of said "Sure man! Find something sharp I'll go get a cup." Thought of that on the drive home of course.

Does anyone have a practical way I can work on this? It doesn't feel quite like building muscle where I just need to practice. It feels more like an attitude or a mindset you either have or you don't.

Also I got fucked with a lot growing up, so I think this has something to do with it. A lot of times my brain assumes a person is fucking with me and I get angry and defensive.

Maybe I need to watch more stand up or something, let that seep into my being.