So I've started approching about a little more than a year ago after my first big solo travel, before that I basically didn't go anywhere at all for years and didn't even meet with friends that much

So naturally my social skills were bad and my anxiety was high to the point that I even got shaky legs when talking to certain people at work, and talking to girls was even more horrifying

I made out with a girl on that trip while i was borderline blackout drunk and had my second kiss ever with 21

To keep things short, after that I forced myself to go out and meet people (mostly nightgame 2 times a week tops) and to better my social skills and confidence

I've had a bigger break inbetween and only went out for like 5 times in 4 or so months

A few months ago I started showing up again consistently and also got more positive results and people in general started reacting way better

Right now I've maybe made out with like 10 girls no lays though, but the thing that bothers me is all of that happened when I at least had like a few drinks or a few drinks too much lol

The quality wasn't the best either like mostly 5's or 6's and what really got me thinking today is that I didn't want to show my coworker the girl i made out with this weekend ( fear of judgement)

To get back to the whole drinking thing, when I'm 3-4 drinks in everything flows really smoothly not only with girls but people in general, I don't really have a strategy i just say whatever bs comes to my mind

when I'm sober conversations still go well but there's just no spark most of the time, like there's a wall blocking all of the bs i would say when I'm a little buzzed and if I try to force something it just comes across as trying to be funny

Even though I'm still proud of how I changed over the time (couldn't even approach when I was blackout drunk), there's still things bothering me like conversations with no spark while sober, or fear to escalate like more intimate kino or going for kisses

I'm thinking about starting to go out and staying completely sober the whole night, maybe I can break my bs blocking wall down bit by bit and only approaching girls I find attractive and not just taking what comes my way

I didn't keep it short in the end haha, but if someone has some advice i would greatly appreciate it