Location: California

I’m a father currently in the middle of filing a Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) against my wife and seeking custody of our toddler.

I’m not looking for case-specific legal advice — my attorney is handling that — but I’m hoping to hear from others who have been through a DVRO in California, especially cases where the petitioner was the husband.

Brief context (kept factual):

- Multiple incidents of physical violence by my spouse over several years

- Incidents escalated and some occurred in front of our child

- Recent threats involving self-harm and harm to the child (reported via family members)

- Law enforcement conducted a welfare check

- I am seeking a temporary DVRO and custody based on child safety concerns

Questions:

  1. How quickly are temporary DVROs typically granted after filing?

  2. What should I realistically expect at the initial hearing?

  3. How do courts generally handle custody when DV allegations involve the child witnessing abuse?

  4. For those who’ve been through this, what helped your case and what hurt it?

  5. Any practical advice for staying compliant and calm during this phase?

I understand every case is different. I’m mainly looking to learn from others’ experiences navigating the process.

Thank you.