For the past few days, I’ve been reflecting on why I often struggle emotionally and why, at times, I feel a sense of resentment toward women. I’m not someone who treats women badly; on the contrary, I tend to be overly kind. I’m attentive, I listen, I pay close attention and remember details. Because of this, many women end up interpreting my behavior as romantic interest and start setting boundaries or becoming distant. Over time, I accepted that this way of being is simply part of my personality.

I’ve never been considered an attractive guy. I’ve lived with obesity or overweight, I didn’t dress well, and I grew up in an unstable family environment. Most of my relationships with women have been short and superficial. At 26 years old, I’ve never kissed anyone, nor has any woman shown genuine romantic interest in me. This has been hard, especially watching other men easily attract women, have sex, relationships, and active social lives. Although it has affected me, I’ve always supported my friends and never felt envy in a practical sense, even if comparisons do cross my mind.

Social and community life has been especially difficult for me. Through introspection, I realized that part of my anger and resentment comes from perceiving that, simply by existing, many women have access to active social lives, multiple suitors, and easy sex. I recognize that this line of thinking closely resembles that of an incel, and for a time, I was one. With maturity and self-reflection, I managed to move past that mindset and understand that this attention is not always wanted and often comes with negative implications.

In the end, I’ve come to understand that many men, myself included, need to make peace with our real limitations. I’m not a woman: people won’t pursue me, court me, or naturally gravitate toward me socially. But women are not to blame for the hand we were dealt.

I also believe this is one of the most important steps when learning seduction: recognizing who you truly are and where you are actually standing, not where you wish you were. I’ve seen many terrible people have multiple girlfriends and plenty of sex, and I’ve seen men mistreat women repeatedly while still attracting them. I’ve learned to understand that for them it may not be difficult, but for me it is. And the problem is not women....it’s that from my current position, I can’t obtain the results I expect.

Because one of the most difficult elements is recognizing that the problem is you. Not your body.....you.