Tl;dr: I'm getting really frustrated with dating. I'm 32, single, male and never had a girlfriend. Ive been on more first dates than anyone else I know and can't seem to find anyone. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?
Body: I'm getting really frustrated with dating. I'm 32, single, male and never had a girlfriend. I have a degree and professional experience. I was born missing half an arm.
I've been on more first dates than anyone else I know. And more first dates than most of my friends combined. Finding first dates takes a lot of effort (texting for example). And that's relatively easy compared to getting a second date. I've only had a few second dates aside from short relationships described below.
The most success I have is with divorced mothers. And they are usually older than me by at least 5 years. The longest 2 relationships I've had were about 6 months each. Both of them were with divorced mothers and they seemed desperate. One of them had a lot of emotional baggage.
I didn't get much attention until I was a senior in college. Then I got significantly more attention once I had professional experience. It feels like I wasn't worth a try for most women until I reached those milestones. Not only that, but employment is important to women and I'm in a seasonal and highly volatile industry.
Many women have complimented me by commenting on my looks. I do notice women's glances from time to time.
When I was younger, girls would react negatively to my arm. "Eeeeewwwww" was a common expression.
Some of my female friends are openly critical of my personality. Apparently I'm boring . All but one of my female friends are SOs of my male friends. My only female friend that isn't a GF/wife of my male friends has turned me down twice.
I'm tired of first dates. They have all the charm of a job interview... because that's exactly what they are. I'm sick of hearing bullshit advice from my friends and family like: - “It's always darkest before dawn.” (when is dawn?) - “Be yourself.” (If that worked I would be in this situation.) - “There are no right answers.” (But there are wrong answers.) - “Think of it as a game.” (who wants to keep loosing at the same game, especially when its not very enjoyable?)
So experience would suggest that it doesn't matter how handsome or successful I am. Many women will always be put off by my arm. More importantly, my personality is off-putting or unattractive..... or at the very least, not capable of overcoming my other shortcomings, whatever they may be. Whatever it is that would make me successful with women, I don't seem to have it... at least for the women that I'm attracted to.
Any thoughts? Any advice?
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