How I feel about Todays session:

I feel satisfied at what I did Today. I managed 3 conversations, 1 "close". I'm improving as it goes. I'm winning honestly. Seeing where I was when I began and where I am now. It's actually amazing.

A great quote from Kobe Bryant is(paraphrasing here), "Always keep going. No matter how terrible things may seem the storm ends, and you wanna make sure you're ready when it ends." I'm learning everyday, keep showing up and pushing myself each day. It's amazing with game how you think you going to have a bad day after a soft blow but end up with some good interactions, but I try not to get attached to the interaction-outcome itself but what I could do to improve.

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My goals for Today session:

->My goals were a bit unclear, it was to get some sets in and see what happens in a way. I notice improvement happens when I have clear goals in what I should improve. It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm super focused on a very specific thing.

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What I did right in general today:

  1. Opening
  2. Warm Ups

What I could improve on in general:

  1. Being patient.

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Important Interaction:

Context, I was walking to a shopping center saw this really cute girl down the pathway to the store, and walked quicker to try to catch up to her. Eventually caught up by a road crossing, we were shoulder-shoulder next to one another. Thought of saying something but held back. Fast forward to when we were exiting she was a bit far from me making eye contact and I waved at her. She waved back. She left to the walkway we came by, I waited purposefully so she wouldn't feel threatened or unsafe like I'm following her.

Then I caught up once again. Shoulder to shoulder, she stepped back a little for whatever reason. I turned a bit and asked(as we were walk) Let's call her Phami.

"What's your name?"

"Phami" she says.

"Uya khuluma?" Which is just me asking her the language she speaks indirectly in Zulu(her home language)
"Yes" she says, a bit nervously or in a shy manor.

A little pause happens as I think of what to say. Then ask

"Do you prefer speaking Zulu or English?"

She thinks about it and says. "English". From what I saw she is a very reserved person. Not the type to speak a lot. So I know she was uncomfortable a bit.

Then I say "I love your outfit."

I could tell she liked the compliment and said thank you.

There was a pause again. I was running out of things to say here. I think I was in my head a little too much.

Then I asked her her age.

She said "18"

"You don't look 18 ahhaha. You have a baby face"(teasing here)

"People always say that ahaha"

"You don't like it?"

"I just don't like people saying that. I get it all the time" She was easing up a little here and opening up a little. The conversation felt less forced.

Then it hit silence.

I said "well there's positives and negatives to everything in life" I forgot to audio rec this I hate it lol. I'm not sure what kind of tone I used to deliver this line. But it was to fill up the silence honestly.

Then I talked a little about myself
"I'm 18 too. Do I look my age?"

She took a glance at me.

Then I cut her off, just rushing to fill the silence.

"I look older right?" I said a bit nervously.

Then she nodded yes.

I asked if she was in 12th grade she said no, she finished last year.
"I'm unsure which course to do"

"Maybe you gotta just try to not overthink it too much and just pick something you know."

"Yeah maybe"

I say "I'm still in 12th Grade"

"I'm tryna get outta my parents house asap"

Then FINALLY. She laughed a little bit. I didn't expect this.

Then I said " You look reserved"

"Yeah I don't like talking to people"
"I love talking to people"

"It's fun"

"Doesn't it get boring"

"Yeah sometimes it is but it can be fun"

"I don't talk to people and strangers" She said looking away.
"Yeah don't be".
We reached point where she was turning, and I had to continue walking forward.

I stop look at my phone and ask

"Are you on whatsapp?"
She says yeah. I wish I asked for the instagram.

She sighed. I don't know. I feel like she was happy I was leaving or something, which is perfectly fine.

"Lemme get your number" I say.

I notice she had her phone, I said
"I'll put mine in yours"

I leave her with my name. And my home language I speak. Then we left.

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Looking back on my side.

I could firstly improve on not rushing to speak, being calm, and present. Listening to her a little more. Feeling the silence and being okay with it. I was being a bit needy, this girl was really cute. I got attached to the idea of getting to know her. Which then made me a bit needy. Also understand that conversation are not meant to be perfect.

And at the end I could've shook her hand at least. I think in the moment, I was trying to read her facial expressions that I didn't think about it.

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Next session I want to focus on using/practicing my canned opener because honestly this freestyling is great but sometimes I don't know how to make things a bit more intimate. It gives off "friend" vibes.

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Thanks for reading.

u/becomesharp
u/AlvaroUrdaneta

I'd love your guyses perspective on this approach. Thanks!

OHHH she just texted me!!! Any advice? This is my first proper "lead" in a long time lol.