Hey,

This may seem like some sort of a bitching/crying post but its really not. I just want to ask some next steps from my current situation in life.

I'm 5'6, 18 years old, somewhat decently built, weigh ~137 lbs. I lift 3 times a week and have started a successful business which has made me to pay off my education. I get good grades, 4.0 GPA. I'm pretty ugly, deep set eyes with dark circles and a little bit of acne I'm trying to get under control. I'm somewhere in the 4-6 zone on the 1-10 scale. I plated a HB5 down the hallway who keeps me drained every weekend.

Each weekend, my friends always go to clubs and bars, I always tag along. During the start of the year, I had some decent success and had multiple hookups with girls in the club. Now, things have completely changed, I feel like hypergamy evolved in these freshman girls to the point where anything less then Chad they will instantly blow out.

My height and facial structure makes me feel like a pussy to these type of guys. I'm scared of rejection to any girl who is a 6 + and my social skills fucking suck towards females. I feel like I am stuck in permanent monk mode and cannot escape for my life. One of the reasons I feel is the amount of comfort I have with this HB5 who gives me head each weekend. I admit I use her as a crutch if I don't pull on a night out (which is basically every night out for the last few months).

So here I am writing this rant after another unsuccessful night with me $60 poorer. For a guy with my statistics and current situation, what is the best step for me to up my game for the club scene to be able to pull when I want to? Also, how do I stop basing my idea of accomplishment and happiness on fact of if I slept with a woman on a specific night? I feel like this is a sick way of living with this mindset and I cant continue living this way.

Thanks for anyone who reads this and can provide me with adequate advice.