I believe I have hyper empathy. It seems the healthier I get the more in tune and sensitive I become. I grew up religious so when I focus on self improvement it also causes me to lean back to my conservative upbringing and thoughts of altruism. Fucking then starts to feel too aggressive and I lean back toward making love.

What helps me most is living selfishly and hedonistically. Smoking seems to help as well. I focus on doing shit and making things happen to where I block consideration of others. I have a lot more sex like this and people like me, respect me, a lot more.

My dr. Jekyll is more beta and my mr. Hyde is more alpha. This as I'm sure many of you would argue is not possible. It however seems very real to me, I can consistently live one way or the other depending on what I choose to focus on. I don't become a dickhead, I just don't treat people as frail creatures who need compassion so much.

Does anyone relate to this? I find it pretty disturbing.