How to stand up for myself?

trp-throw · 2016-04-06T11:13:54+00:00

Been there, I used to worry a lot about people's feelings and would put theirs before mine.

I highly suggest No More Mr Nice Guy, and if people don't give a fuck about your feelings and your well being, why the fuck should you care about theirs?

Try it, next time someone disrespects you, tell them straight up with an assertive tone that you will not tolerate his disrespect. If they quit nice, if they don't verbally shatter their world, go nuclear if you need to, bring up all your arsenal. If it still doesn't stop (will be downvoted to hell) go physical for the first and last time, so they know you aren't joking, you're the doormat, time to change that.

Wish I had discovered trp as young as you did, chances are you're not getting female attention because of how "weak" and considerate you are. While the guys picking on you are because of how "alpha" and assertive they are.

Don't change your opinions just because someone (especially a girl) has a different one, a girl I knew straight up told me they hate when someone agrees with everything she says especially when it's obvious that he doesn't share that opinion. It's your opinion, stick to it and defend it, not only does it make it unique, it shows you stand up for something. But if you do believe in something and it turns out to be wrong, there's no shame in admitting you were wrong about it.

Finally, since you're 16 and doing academically well, I assume people will ask you for favours such as doing their homework and essays. Do not agree under any circumstance unless you're getting paid for it.

"Hey usernamegarbage, you know you're good with math and i'm not, could you do my math homework, it'll take you 20 minutes tops, i'll owe you forever"

"What's in there for me, i'll do it for X bucks"

"I don't have that kind of money, please you're my friend otherwise i'll fail the class"

"I don't have time to waste on your homework either, comeback when you have the money, or you know what, don't comeback ever again asking me for homework favours, I just won't do it"

if it's a girl, don't think she'll ever be attracted to you if you do her homework, you'll just be the guy who does her homework. Just the fact that people ask you to do their homework should give you an idea about your status, ever seen your friends or chicks go to Chad Thundercock to do their math? how are you any different.

Another interesting read that will help you tons later on in life is 48 rules of power, read one ever day and try to implement it the same day.

Good luck

EDIT 1: Oh and I just watched Legend, the story of twins that will be the biggest mobsters in London, you should watch it just to see how real men were intended to be, not the feminized cucks society is trying to mould us into.

I also have been mocked physically and i just told them softly to stop so other people wont notice, but they continued.

"Another fucking word and I'll fucking bash your head in, try me"

Given you can actually bash his fucking head in

EDIT 2: Join a physical sport, Rugby, Football, Judo, any Jitsu... plenty of alpha males there to look up to and befriend.

Sepean · 2016-04-06T11:49:21+00:00

I am afraid that if i say something back it will be too harsh and say that i am an asshole because what they said was just a joke.

Well, go ahead and be harsh. Be an asshole. Maybe that is overcorrecting, but it is better overcorrect than to stay where you are. You'll learn the balance eventually, but you need to but yourself out there.

So go out and be an asshole. It's ok.

Eventually you should learn to deal with this with banter, but for now, go be an asshole.

I also have been mocked physically and i just told them softly to stop so other people wont notice, but they continued.

I got physically picked on as a teen. I began doing muai thai and 2 months later when a bully went at me I got him in a clinch and kneed him 10 times in the solar plexus. That was the end of the bullying.

That was over 20 years ago, these days I'd find an MMA gym.

Read up on self defense laws. Don't go apeshit and mess up a guy so you end up in jail. The point is to deter them from messing with you in the future, not to act out some bullshit revenge fantasy.

exoduslife · 2016-04-06T11:21:16+00:00

I am afraid that if i say something back it will be too harsh and say that i am an asshole because what they said was just a joke.

You start standing up for yourself by speaking up. And if someone gets butthurt, that's their problem, not yours. As you keep practicing you will get better at it. It is a process though so you need to keep doing it everyday. Start small then move up towards other challenges.

[deleted] · 2016-04-06T12:12:29+00:00

i have a problem where im so poor verbally that the only way i can defend myself is physically. which has left me with a terrible reputation and a criminal record. even if ghe other guy started it and asked for it im considered the bad guy when they get knocked out with one punch. im under investigation right now for crimes i didnt commit so i cant do anyhing physical so im like a doormat right now. i wish my verbal skills were as good as my boxing skills.

randarrow · 2016-04-06T13:11:51+00:00

Adults manage standing up for themselves by voting with their presence. Co-workers treating you badly? Stand up for yourself a little bit then get a new job. Friends treating you badly? Stand up for yourself a little bit then get new friends. Two things you gotta remember, as a teen you are trapped. You can't just switch classses/schools because you don't like the people you are with; so try to keep the peace. Second of all, picking on each other is also bonding and building friendship. Learn to smile and call them on their shit. They also might be picking on you because of the stress you show, learn to destress, and build a healthy life (social, food, sleep, home, everything)

These alone should take you a few years until you can distance yourself safely and you will need them regardless.

harkrank · 2016-04-06T14:12:29+00:00

I just finished writing about this in another thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4dkcto/are_men_who_shit_test_other_men_weak_what_happens/d1s2y5w

Since you're 16 my guess is that your social circle is quite limited, so you've been put firmly in the position of lowest beta by those around you. You might still be in the time window around puberty and early teens where people can completely change their way of being and have other people accept it. Then you should aggressively stand up for yourself and take no shit from anybody. This is usually what's going on when teens "rebel". They go all out in their change so that even if they have to retreat a little bit later, they're still much tougher than when they were beta before.

If you're past that window or are too undetermined for such a major change, then I suggest changing circle of friends. This means you might have to be alone a bit, but it will allow you to build up yourself in peace. Soon you'll change school and meet new people anyway, these people have no clue that you were weak, so act strong and you'll be strong in their eyes. Trying to struggle against a whole community who sees you as beta and wants you to remain beta is an impossible endeavor, no matter how much you change yourself into a badass they won't change their minds or how they treat you. You could fucking successfully invade Russia in the winter and they wouldn't change their low opinion of you.

What you need is also something that is truly your own and nobody else's in your life. That could be a social hobby, but it has to be something that is actually cool and attracts alpha people, martial arts, or outdoor sports that are physically demanding. It could also be a non-social hobby like painting or playing a musical instrument or making music digitally. If you can build up yourself in peace it will do great things for your confidence. You said you lift and that is great, it makes a first impression much easier on both men and women, but if you're not confident that advantage vanishes at once. Sadly, some of the most unconfident guys I've met have been ripped guys who live in the gym. There is substance to the myth. A productive hobby will make you less anxious about everyday bullshit. What does it matter to you that somebody is trying to grind your gears when you're thinking about getting back home so you can finish building that thing or go catch a wave?

ljsjdoj009e9we · 2016-04-06T11:35:14+00:00

Judo/BJJ/Olympic Wrestling

You wont probably follow through coz you;re young and stupid, you will rationalize that cardio is bad/don't want to have criminal record/that it's very hard on joints and body in long term/it's gay/takes some time to be good/it's not worth the money or that nearest gym is in distance of over 30 minutes haha

thepitman · 2016-04-06T15:26:47+00:00

I used to insult back and not care if they called me an asshole. If they wanted to get physical, I would too even though I was small and probably a lot skinnier than them.

My father taught me to never back down. I would say that I had pretty decent results, with only a 1-2 ass beatings.

Tell em your opinion of them man. What's gonna happen if they call you an ass? Maybe not pick on you anymore. You're an easy target cause you let them do it to you.

Title	How to stand up for myself?
Author	usernamegarbage
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	April 6, 2016 10:26 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4dl67p/how_to_stand_up_for_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-stand-up-for-myself.162991 https://theredarchive.com/post/162991

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