As a middle-aged woman, still on the market, I wanted to add some opinions as to where the gender divide has changed and more specifically, how it’s changed over time.

First Disclaimer:
The fundamental definition of feminism is EQUALITY! No man or woman is either below nor above another in terms of how they should be treated.

Lower wages/increasing workload:
I recently read that the middle class has shrunk down to 10% of the population. One working adult can no longer support a family. The number of working adults in a household has increased as well as the number of jobs kept at one time. The long term effects are that people have less leisure time which is where people find the time to date. Along with time, comes tighter budgets coupled with increasing prices. Not only is it more difficult to plan a night out, but it’s prohibitively expensive. I find it ludicrous that it cost 70 dollars for two to the movies (with popcorn).

Internet/Smart Phones/Social Media:
Since the advent of social media in 2004, singles (or people on the hunt) had easier access to evaluating prospects. In turn, sitting behind a screen allows a certain amount of anonymity and assuages any social anxiety issues interfering with banter. Since then, people increasingly became dependent on socializing from a distance. This lead to
to further isolation and disconnection. One consequence is that now daters lose their skills on how to pick up an interest on the fly or how to have witty, flirty banter at low stakes.

Remember dating is a two-way street and while you’re getting to learn more about your date, it’s important to notice certain “red flags”, if they do appear.

I constantly remind myself that “Rejection is God’s protection.” Ultimately, why be with someone who doesn’t really want you, see you, or even value you as a person.

I’ve read about teenagers resorting to dating apps. I find this so bizarre since they’re forced to socialize in school. My first crush was someone from my class.

I feel that most of Social Media is to present a false persona that indirectly reflects a story of your own personal fantasy life. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s engendered a culture of comparing and contrasting yourself to your peers IG “best self” (Auto-tuned of course).

Shift of Gender Role:
I remember trying out for the high school golf team at 14 years old. I was new to the school and the only girl trying out for the purported “mixed” team. I was never excluded and treated respectfully by most of my teammates. To fit in with my friends (who were boys), I adopted a rather tomboyish style and affect. No on ever misgendered me, but I received sexuality remarks on occasion.

Gladly, gender roles have become more fluid enabling better self-expression, from what I glean.

Furthermore, as an independent woman, raised by my father, I was taught to be self-reliant and that no relationship or amount of money was worth “renting space in my head”.

Covid:
This pseudo-epidemic continues to plague our nation, economy, and social structure and interaction. I don’t even recall a formal “END” of Covid. The changes enforced for isolation, working from home, and perceived scarcity (i.e., toilet paper) were never revoked. I still don’t fully understand what happened to this country after the epidemic but I know (like the time I visited New Orleans) that the wreckage still mars our streets.

So my rule of thumb:

  1. If I invite you out, then it’s my invitation and treat I should pay.
  2. I enjoy men taking me out but would like them to offer for at least the first few meals. If he pays for dining out, I’ll pay for groceries and cook. So I like to think of it as a give and take.
  3. Try doing something new or out of your comfort zone for a date. There are budget friendly options and I’ll include some of my ideas below.

Ideas:
Give each other massages
Try a new cuisine
Cook with them
Bake with them
Binge watch a new series
Read together
Nap together
Hiking
Biking
Teach them something new
Have them teach me something
Play cards
Go to the Casino
Go on a picnic

I hope someone tries one of these ideas and enjoys summertime.