So I started chatting to a girl on a dating site over the Easter weekend. We chatted and it was going well, she was really excited to meet me. When the time came I got nervous (she was way hotter than her pics), broke frame, grabbed her ass and tried to kiss her which she rejected. The conversation flowed well and although I probably didn't come across alpha, I talked about sex and she seemed open to a few hookups, of course she would have been pressured when it was face to face.

She texted me the day after the first date and said she felt it was too intense and that she's not really into public displays of affection, she started saying that she didn't want to see me again, so I stopped her in her tracks, said I'd been a little nervous and that I hadn't given her a good account of myself. On that basis she agreed to meet me again.

Let it be known that I am good at sexting and was able to turn her on saying what I wanted to do to her. This was originally how I acquired and held her interest. When I felt like I was losing her interest in the second week, I sent a long and filthy message which she loved and responded really well to, so I figured that I could try to push things a little further but didn't know how.

I booked a table at a really nice place, was texting her on and off over the following week leading up to when we were due to meet and was dead set on pulling out all the stops to ensure that I did better than the first time around (gym, buying clothes, reading what to do etc). My friend who has way more success than I do said I should try to get her to agree to some drinks after dinner, which she did, he then said I should go a little further and ask her if we could book a hotel room under the premise that "we might be too drunk to drive back". She said that she wasn't comfortable staying over yet, so I said that's cool and that we should see how it goes.

You know what's coming...

Two hours before we were due to meet she texts me saying she's been unsure about the date all week and that she's had a hectic day and wants to chill. She apologised, but clearly I didn't like this at all. She cited the hotel proposition as one of the reasons for her pulling out.

As a natural beta (looking to change), I first asked her to trust me and forget about the hotel thing, nothing that it was just so we wouldn't be over the limit driving home. She didn't have it. I then messaged her saying a lot of nice things, like I've messed up, I'm a good judge of character and know she's someone I rwally wanted to get to know. Anyway it's over and I need to take a break from dating.

If anyone can pick apart the above and let me know how bad my approach was and what I can do to change I'd be very grateful.

I'm considering monk mode. I don't have the energy to date for a while. I've started to read "mastery" and having got through the first two chapters it seems like it's trying to lead me to a more satisfying career path, I'm not sure that's something I want to change, because although I don't truly enjoy my job, it pays my bills and whole lot more. Surely that's going to add to my SMV more than starting again and taking a huge pay cut? I feel like monk mode for me would be to improve SMV by developing new interests, stop procrastination and let me develop some game.

Lastly, and this is what's crushing me right now. On Friday when this date was supposed to happen, people asked me what I was doing that evening so I told them I had a date. Clearly, working in an office with 25 year old girls (I'm 31) they all wanted to know all about it and will invetiably ask me tomorrow how it went? What the fuck am I going to say? I want to be honest, but it needs to be in such a way that it won't absolutely bury me in their minds, I'm aiming to minimise embarrassment and close it down so I can get on. keep in mind that they know pretty much the whole story above, including the hotel thing (they were surprised she hadn't cancelled already after that).

Would really appreciate help guys, I am fully aware that I have a lot to learn.