I did my first cold approach almost 7 years ago now. I started posting my lessons and understanding here for over 2 years. Many of you have approached me in the hopes of receiving some magical boon and powers which will solve your problems. Unfortunately, for many of you approaching me for such advice receive dissappointing feedback.

"I am not rich enough"
"Women are X"
"My dick is not long enough"
"Im too short"
"Im not attractive enough"

These are the examples of troublesome and difficult mindsets in which plagues the faliure of many begineers. Mostly as justification of an inferior inner game. Just as a general framework, I would argue anything that is ineffective or causing you suffering and pain requires a revision in the way you approach the problem.

This simple framework can hopefully help you achieve better action plans. It is how I reflect back on my faliures and improve day by day, and I hope this can help you too.

Step 1: Accurate Diagnosis Of The Situation

"Accurate" is the key word here. For example, "I am too short for women to like me" is NOT an accurate diagnosis of your situation. Without identifying the true causes of your faliures, there is no hope of you solving them anytime soon. The reasoning is simple, you can do an infinite of things that can improve your chances with women, but which one has the highest leverage and is the most appropriate for you?

This is where the problem of self deception comes in, and why a external observer becomes relavant. Most faliure to resolve problems comes from the incorrect identification of what the problem actually is in the first place. If you are optimizing for the wrong problem, then you cannot be surprised to find out that you are optimizing faliure.

Step 2: The Guiding Philosophy

Once we have accurately determined your problem to a resonable and defined scope, the second thing I try to do is to construct a philosophy in which guides the user to the outcome he wants. A person who wants a long term girlfriend and an inexperienced individual merely looking to see who to settle down with require very different philosophies.

Think of a philosophy like a highway. The "actions" in which you can do is either in the left, middle and right lane. The philosophy constrains your actions between the three lanes acting as the guardrails so you dont end up somewhere else.

There is no such thing as an "all encompassing philosophy." There is pros and cons to all approaches, and it optimizes for different things, this is why it is crucial that we understand what is the problem FIRST, before defining the philosophy/methodology, or else we will optimize for the result we may not want.

Step 3: Create Action Plans Coherent With The Guiding Philosophy

Step 3 is easy. Just list down step by step how you will execute the resolution to your problem. You have probably done this many times.

Faliure to resolve problems is a symptom of trying to solve the wrong problem. Resolving problems but not achieving the specific result you want indicates an error in philosophy.

Cheers,
FriendlyWrenChilling