Boyfriend's son's mother can't budget $1k a month in child support.

TempestTcup · 2015-09-30T11:19:24+00:00

Sorry, I don't really think that this is the right place for this post; if you are annoyed with your boyfriend about this, you should talk to him about it.

TempestTcup · 2015-09-30T12:44:50+00:00

Thinking on this further, the situation you have here is commonly referred to as "baggage". You have inherited the side effects of getting into a relationship with a man with baggage, but it is not yours to deal with. You have no say in how he deals with it.

You might as well accept the fact that he has ties to both of them, and what he does regarding his son is his business. Getting annoyed does nothing except annoy you (and probably him if you are vocalizing it).

What I would do in your situation is to put it completely out of my mind and concentrate on things you do have a modicum of control over. I would pay attention to how he handles her though; if he acts like a complete pushover around her (to her face, not when she's not around), then you might want to consider the ramifications of having her as a large factor in your future relationship.

Washiface · 2015-09-30T10:53:25+00:00

I'm in exactly the same situation. My step son is exactly the same age as yours. Our baby momma has consistently neglected my stepson and spent all her child allowance on herself (on drugs and alcohol). She makes him buy groceries with the money he earns working in a bar. He comes to me for home cooked food and support and advice on his life.

She is forcing him into full time education (he is not academic at all, he failed all his GCSEs, he wants to work out doors as a groundskeeper like his grandad) because that means he gets continued child support.

Will a penny of his child support be going to her? Hell no! It will go directly into his bank account. If your boyfriend is having issues trusting her with the money it makes sense that he give the money directly to his son. $1000 a month is a hefty child support, my husband only has to pay £200 a month.

There is also an issue of her losing her child tax credits, I don't know if this is the case for your baby momma as well. So she's getting super panicky and manipulating over time because horror of horrors, she may have to get a job! Luckily my husband has had 18 years of this nonsense and knows exactly how manipulative she can be.

You could phrase it like, the boy needs to learn how to manage his own finances now he's 18. He needs to learn how to be a man, it's unhealthy for him to still be dependent on his mother. We can trust him, he's a good boy. Hey if he wastes all the money right away, that's still a good lesson for him to learn, as we learn from mistakes.

The sad thing is, my stepson is terrified of his mother. He's actually shocked that I'm not terrified of her. He does whatever she says and when she says she is impoverished and depressed, he doesn't see what I see. I see that she optionally doesn't work and is not depressed - but on drug come downs. He has gotten into a relationship with a girl who is exactly like his mother - uses her mental health problems to treat him like trash, even cheats on him openly, and he passively goes along with it. I do my best to help him understand women, he doesn't look to his dad for any of this because he is so feminised. He comes to me with all his problems. I hope your stepson does not have this issue.

It may feel weird being a parenting influence on someone else's kids but I think, if your husband is anything like mine, he will appreciate your love and passion for his kids.

If you need someone to talk to please PM me.

Title	Boyfriend's son's mother can't budget $1k a month in child support.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	September 30, 2015 10:13 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3my5z7/boyfriends_sons_mother_cant_budget_1k_a_month_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/boyfriends-sons-mother-cant-budget-1k-a-month-in.166472 https://theredarchive.com/post/166472

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