He asks if it's okay that he pays for our movie tickets and I'm a little unsure of how to respond.

Sparky81 · 2016-06-25T04:41:56+00:00

He offered, say thank you and accept with a smile. Then the day of, offer to pay your half back. If he says he doesn't care just let it go and enjoy.

I would give the same advice regardless of gender or couple situation.

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-06-25T06:38:05+00:00

Generally, who asks for the date, pays for it. It sounds like this was a collaborative plan; who pays is more negotiable.

A Captain-material guy will likely have initiated the date idea, which neatly deals with the ambiguity. If you're not sure, it's fine to ask, "So, do you want to go Dutch?" This will polarize the situation; whatever his decision, follow his lead. This is a chance to observe how he handles being handed the reins so to speak; a passive test of his ability to lead without resorting to active shit testing.

The social context makes a big difference, too. Two broke-ass college students on a first date, it's reasonable to choose somewhere free to cheap and each pay their own way. More established and middle-class couples, it's more likely to be negotiable, weighted toward man pays/offers to. In the case of high-earning guys, it would be ridiculous to nickel and dime a date, and possibly insulting for her to offer.

There is the aspect of the guy paying implying ownership or skewing the balance of relationship power; an issue largely overwrought by feminists. However, like silly-looking rules posted at a business, they exist because somebody did that. There really ARE guys, usually at the low end of the social awareness scale, who become quite aggressive about expecting "something" for the price of the date. You can use this to your advantage when you are getting a bad, possibly possessive vibe from your date or you otherwise determine that you really want to nope out of future involvement. THIS is when you insist on paying, even if it means laying a $20 or whatever on the table against his protests and hastily jetpacking out of there. If you find you're dealing with a petty person, leaving them with a $0 money balance helps them decide you didn't "owe" them further dating.

In my own experience, when a woman has INSISTED on paying for herself on the first meet, it never led to a second date. These are the dates where the conversation sputters instead of flows, and no connection or warmth is felt by either party.

A system that has worked better than breaking out two wallets at each transaction, is to alternate paying. He buys the first round of drinks, you the second. She drives; he pays for parking. She pays admission, he buys lunch. It makes the matter of "who pays" so seamless as to become invisible/not an issue during the dating process.

Title	He asks if it's okay that he pays for our movie tickets and I'm a little unsure of how to respond.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	2
Date	June 25, 2016 4:38 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4pr18b/he_asks_if_its_okay_that_he_pays_for_our_movie/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/he-asks-if-its-okay-that-he-pays-for-our-movie.166855 https://theredarchive.com/post/166855

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