how to be more independant?

FinancialThanks1 · 2020-08-16T08:12:17+00:00

Take responsibility for the things that you depend on other people for

laserdicks · 2020-08-16T11:47:26+00:00

It's all about fixing the sources for your needs. First, physical needs, then emotional needs.

Physical is more obvious: get a job, move out, etc. Emotional needs are harder to identify and easier to misdiagnose.

There are lots of emotional needs, but I'm going to focus on validation and self-esteem. There's a bit of a clue in the word itself: self-esteem. Esteem is a judgment of value, and high self-esteem is valuing yourself highly.

Its relationship with dependence is circular. As your self-esteem grows, so too does your independence. But as your independence grows, so too does your self-esteem.

So how do you raise them? Unfortunately the answer is hard work and practice. Some people say "fake it til you make it" though I don't think this characterizes it very well. Instead I think "use it or lose it" is more relevant. When you fuck up and end up in a situation of shame you are provided a choice: will you focus on the judgment of others, or will you focus on your judgment of yourself? Further, will you judge yourself accurately, or will you judge yourself emotionally and destructively? Finally, will you work on avoiding the situation again in future?

To become more independent you need to choose to go out and get resources for yourself rather than relying on other people for them.

Snowboard18 · 2020-08-16T15:29:17+00:00

Don’t be dependent on people anymore lol, you really needed to ask this? If you know your dependent on multiple people then you should also know how to fix this.

Whatever your dependent on others for, you start doing those things yourself

Fukndapoon15 · 2020-08-16T11:13:49+00:00

Independent....start by spelling it right.

Title	how to be more independant?
Author	madfrombrad
Upvotes	0
Comments	6
Date	August 16, 2020 7:50 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/iaoj08/how_to_be_more_independant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-be-more-independant.170098 https://theredarchive.com/post/170098

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