He’s a 30/M and I’m a 25/F. We broke up due to me not feeling like he was into me enough. He said finally when we broke up that he wanted to take things slow and not get hurt and burned. I told him I wanted him to be more interested in me and seem more excited to have me in his life. It isn’t something you can teach. It is either there or not there I feel like. He always seemed disconnected from everything.

He said he would like to be friends then later said that he is definitely going to miss the sex with me.

Do guys ever realize that they maybe missed out after a good girl left?

We dated three months. He asked me to be his gf soon after we dated and so I thought he was more interested but he apparently didn’t think making us official meant a deeper emotional connection. I think he wanted to be FWB but just didn’t want me fucking anyone else. I tried harder after he made it official but pulled back when I didn’t get in the effort and interest on his part. I felt he was going through the motions. Maybe he was jaded from a great relationship he had that went sour and felt he couldn’t ever get that back?

I dunno I met his fam and everything but he didn’t seem like he was excited I was in his life.

When we broke up he has never talked to me as much ever. He texted me for three hours and sent paragraphs to me. Basically wishing me the best after I left him. He got upset a few weeks ago when I said I didn’t want things to work because again he didn’t seem interested. I felt this initial time is full of fun and excitement but he always seemed a little off and not interested in me but more into himself.

I asked him:

Also, was there a reason you werent able to show me your affection or didn’t like me as much as I thought you did. Is there anything I can improve on as a person and/or in a relationship so I can better myself?

He said:

“As for your question I do not think it was any particular reason just some people (like me) are a little more jaded/guarded so it was super hard for me to even start a relationship type thing. Like I mentioned earlier some people start off hot (maybe they can stay hot) and then fade later or they start off a little slower because they view it as a marathon gotta pace yourself to be able to go the distance. I guess for me I am at the point in my life where I am not looking to fall head over heels for someone (hopefully not impossible 🤞but very unlikely for me with anyone so do not take it personally it had nothing to do with you not being good enough etc) because I want to feel security and kinship before I go balls to the wall “I love you” type thing because as I am getting older I have less time to put myself in relationships that will end up burning me after 2-3 years instead of picking my way through early on and making sure I am with someone that will treat my heart with care”

And

“Thank you you are very sweet. And Completely understandable. I appreciate your apology and I hope you accept mine. Your feelings are completely valid so don’t feel bad about them! I of course like you as well and yea admittedly it was not exactly a knock me off my feet type of situation but I have been around the block enough times to know that not every relationship starts that way and sometimes the best ones are ones that grow over time (which was how I was feeling with you just the more I got to spend time with you and get to know your quirks you grew on me) not necessarily ones that start off super hot then possibly fade out. But sometimes you think you have more time than you do I wasn’t really feeling the urgency and I apologize. I wish we had better communication in that regard so at the very least you would not have felt so bad you are an awesome young woman and are going to make someone very happy one day (and be happy in return!) But ultimately it is just the right person at the right time and it takes two to tango, so I understand you having a different idea and expectations for what you wanted from our relationship. Thanks again I think we are both cool enough that we will find our way in love and life so again wish nothing but the best for you 🙏🙏🙏 from the top of my heart

Also lol I don’t want it to be weird or anything but if our issues were not being compatible lovers but we had fun hanging we could just be friends. I completely understand if you don’t want to and that is fine but at least in my end since we found out pretty early it is definitely not a “I could never even see you again“ type situation for me but if you feel differently then that is super cool I respect you alot so this just a suggestion its hard to find right match for love but friends are not always easy to come by either and at least we kinda had that down 🤷‍♀️”

He also said if he liked me more that he may have treated me how I liked and said that I grew on him and that he didn’t expect to ever fall head over heels again after a six year relationship.

TLDR. I probably should have given him more time. To like me. I think he asked me out without ya knowing the expectations. I like him a lot but I also don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t like me as much as I like them. It’s humiliating kind of.