It was a very lame situation that was typical of an AFC. Girl shows me some attention, invites me to her house, BP me had his head so far up his ass that he did no escalation with her, even when she was throwing sexual innuendos my way. Typical oneitis story blablabla, and the fact that she was the type I fancied (kooky, artsy and eccentric) tugged on my heart strings even more.
I inevitably ended up rejecting her by pussying out after a night out with her friends dancing. Once again heavy IOIs but I was very paranoid as she previously turned me down when I set up something with her. She asks "wanna go and grab something to eat" with her friends and I said flat out no and went home. It just all went south from there.
I felt really shitty because I knew I was doing it wrong. I was heavily invested in one girl, infatuated with some image that my head made of her and everything reeked of neediness. I felt the urge to stalk her social media so I blocked her. She noticed and it became a school-wide scandal. A close friend and her entourage of white knights turned on me because said friend told her that I liked her so much that I wanted to "fuck her brains out" (actually did say that but in private with him, he fucked me over to get in favor with her).
After the rude wake-up call, half a year of lifting, meditation, improving my diet and stopping the shame of my own sexuality, I haven't had any oneitises, and if I felt myself becoming too attached to a girl I'd soft next and pick another, outside of my school of course. The problem with this girl (I know, vomit-inducing) is that I have classes with her every day.
I am forced to tolerate her presence on average 2 hours every day. Whenever I see her I get the "oh, you" feeling. I generally ignore her most of the time, and the only time I do talk to her is if she says something stupid to me and I neg her for it. Although the original strong dopamine rushes have faded deep down inside I still feel a faint vibration on my heart strings, if that makes any sense. I know it's not healthy, and this is not going to go anywhere as that ship has sailed long ago.
You guys are older and more experienced than I am on the subject... What to do?
[–]Shredderick4201 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link