Amused Mastery and not letting other walk over gou. Contraddiction?

yleGerm · Sat Jun 18 23:56:43 2016 UTC

I suspect that you are displaying Amused Mastery without showing sufficient Frame.

You still need to show people that you take no shit. That you give out judgments, that you can be loud, and that when the time comes, you can return fire.

Amused Mastery doesn't just mean being funny and smirking at everything. If someone fucks with you with banter, they are trying to enter your frame. It's how men bond. You need to BANTER BACK so that you are equals.

If they do not desist and the banter becomes a tool for humiliation, then don't be afraid to get slightly more socially aggressive and CALL IT OUT. "wtf bro, have I offended you?".

If you fail at banter and then you fail at calling it out (your last line of defense), it will eventually spill over into bullying.

Listen to your instincts. Don't apologise to yourself for feeling down when someone fucks with you. It's your natural instinct to feel that way. The alpha recognises that he doesn't have to feel that way, and so he fights back with everything he can. His own feelings are the most important to him. He'd rather lose a friend than allow himself to be subjugated.

SoRedSuchAlpha · 2016-06-18T23:47:55+00:00

The only thing I found that works is detaching myself from those situation/those people, but does that make sense?

Yes.

Even if I display amused mastery all the time, is it normal to feel down when someone tries to fuck with you?

Also yes. Especially if it's more than one person. It's good to try to let one critic throwing shade roll off your back, but if you're being ganged up on and no one defends you, you're in a hostile environment and should try to go somewhere you're appreciated.

SkorchZang · 2016-06-18T23:49:56+00:00

It's perfectly natural to get back at whoever tried to fuck with you.

Even better if you combine that swift justice with some amused mastery, and show them their place with cruel humor and charm.

Women absolutely love this, seeing a man put someone else down so expertly and so funnily that everyone's jaw dropped.

We're not the blue pill where you're not allowed to let your righteous emotions out. Show them hell, son!

[deleted] · 2016-06-19T01:54:26+00:00

It's an issue of frame, much like a lot of things. It's a part of the larger understanding that the same act can be alpha or beta in some situations depending on your frame.

when someone tries to get under my skin/inside my head by publicly attacking me, even though I can show I'm not affected nor that I care about the opinion of tthe little shit attacking me, unless I publicly hit back I feel like I lost power.

And there's the frame issue. Your "power" isn't dependent on what other people say about you.

Now, don't get me wrong: I know that I don't really lose status, and showing that I'm unphased by that crap makes me strong in other people's eyes. BUT, right when the belittling is being carried out, if one or two people are validating the attacker then that's enough to make me feel bad, at leadt right at that moment.

You just described it perfectly.

Even if I display amused mastery all the time, is it normal to feel down when someone tries to fuck with you?

It's a question of emotional control in a situation where you know that logic and rationality would have you choose door A and your emotions are screaming to choose door B. In this case, your frame is essentially tied to how much faith you have in your own judgement when it comes to which door you pick.

Title	Amused Mastery and not letting other walk over gou. Contraddiction?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	June 18, 2016 10:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4oqneb/amused_mastery_and_not_letting_other_walk_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/amused-mastery-and-not-letting-other-walk-over-gou.185122 https://theredarchive.com/post/185122

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