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[–]abdada4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
You're moving in with her. She's not moving in with you. Interesting way you phrased that.
[–]Retspihi 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
The phrasing wasn't important, we are both moving into an apartment in August
[–]abdada9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The phrasing is extremely important because you offered insight into whose frame this "living together" situation resides in. It's her frame, I take it.
If you're jealous of her and feel you need to spy, I'm guessing she wears the pants.
[–]redarjeeling 2 points2 points2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Dont do it.
[–]Retspihi -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
Why not? If I find anything that breaches our relationship I'll end it instantly. I don't want to move in with a woman who knows our boundaries with the opposite sex but engages in conversation/flirtatious behavior
[–] points points points 56 years ago | Copy Link
How will you end it instantly when you're both on the lease etc etc. chances are youll end up paying the majority of the bills even if you aim to split it 50/50 and she'll spunk away her money on shopping and other useless shit. if she cant be trusted to stay faithful while living away from you thats not going to change just because you both live together.
[–]Retspihi -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
Hence why I'm trying to see how she is prior to the move in.
How long has this LTR been going on for? why doesnt she reply to your texts if shes active on facebook?
you seem a tad insecure and the its unlikely that this relationship will be a successful. IF you do check her phone do it in secret. Never tell her that you have and even if its clean just assume it isnt
[–]Retspihi -2 points-1 points0 points 10 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
6 months. I don't show her many signs of what I'm telling you guys.
I don't know why she doesn't reply but goes to Facebook messenger and then replies to me 2-3 hours later. that's why I'm inclined to do this.
And can you elaborate on the last sentence?
[–]Spread_The_Red1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You've been with this bitch after six months and you're moving in with her? And you don't even know if you can trust her??
How about . . . Not doing any of that?
[–]Auphor_Phaksache-4 points-3 points-2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why you gotta call his girl a bitch bro?
[–]Spread_The_Red1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Because every girl I don't know, and most that I do, is just some bitch.
[–]Auphor_Phaksache-2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
While that is true, you need to let OP discover that for himself. No need to call someone else's LTR a bitch dude. Your moms a bitch and your sister too. That doesn't mean you need to hear it from someone else.
[–]Spread_The_Red0 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
My mom is a bit of a bitch and all of my sisters are bitches except for the babies and when they get old I'm sure they'll be bitches too. Your a bitch as well, defending some strangers fee fees from my blunt manner of speaking.
Sparing feels is a great injustice to any man because in doing so you are shielding him from reality when you should be doing the opposite and tearing down the ugly mask we gave it so we dont have to stare into it's ugly face. But only when looking at that butt ugly monster known as reality without any filters can we see it for what it really is.
Stop white knighting.
[–]Scurvemuch 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I try to do well on tests that matter.
Hope that helps
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
She doesn't know I'll check her phone. I've never done it and haven't shown overt jealousy outside of setting clear boundaries with other men and clubbing.
[–]Scurvemuch 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
you are missing the point
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
So then give me guidance
[–]Scurvemuch 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Forgetting that you should not move in with a person with whom you have this issue (your lack of frame)....
If she knows she is being tested, she will give the appearance of doing all the right things. If she doesn't know... who knows what she will do. If she does things you told her not to despite knowing you are watching, you are her doormat.
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
How do I know what she's doing if I don't check
[–]Scurvemuch -2 points-1 points0 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
you can of course check. Check daily . You never know when she will fuck up.
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not sure if that's serious
[–]Scurvemuch 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In your case, since you can't figure out whether you trust her with keeping up appearances at least, and yet are moving in WITH HER, it has to be.
[–]dongpal0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
she... goes clubbing?
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She has and stopped.
[–]Il1281 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I can tell from your frame she's cheating on you. It's pretty ignorant to be moving in with her.
Phone checks should be done on a Monday, whenever you two meet in the afternoon or evening, immediately take her phone and check all her messages, photos and chat apps.
You'll be single again.
I wouldn't go as far to say she's cheating. I was married to a BPD woman for a while and the thoughts I have are chronic.
[–]ErikTheRedPill 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then you need to fix yourself before you can handle maintaining frame in an LTR.
This has nothing to do with her and everything to do with tou
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[–]abdada4 points5 points6 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi 1 point2 points3 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]abdada9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]redarjeeling 2 points2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi -1 points0 points1 point [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
[–] points points points | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi -1 points0 points1 point [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]redarjeeling 2 points2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi -2 points-1 points0 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Spread_The_Red1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Auphor_Phaksache-4 points-3 points-2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Spread_The_Red1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Auphor_Phaksache-2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Spread_The_Red0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Scurvemuch 1 point2 points3 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Scurvemuch 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Scurvemuch 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Scurvemuch -2 points-1 points0 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Scurvemuch 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dongpal0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Il1281 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Retspihi 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ErikTheRedPill 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link