This isn’t meant to be a whiny post. Sorry if it comes off that way. My intent is to lay out my situation.

I’m a twenty-five year old male with very little experience in anything. I’ve never had a job which is pretty damning at this stage in life. I’m still in community college for network engineering because I’ve dropped many classes due to my weaknesses i.e. Anxiety, depression, and stuttering. I still have a while to go in college but I am starting to get onto the proper path academically. When it comes to a social life, there isn’t any. I’ve been in college since 2011 and haven’t made a friend. I’m a very anxious person because of my speech issues. I feel embarrassed, weak, and degraded every time I open my mouth. I’ve gone through months at a time without saying a single word in school except for the occasional “thank you” when a professor hands me a test paper.

I’ve never had a girlfriend which upsets me to an extent, but this takes a lower priority because I have a multitude of issues that need to be addressed first. When it comes to social skills that too is non-existent. I have nothing to say. When I’m forced to talk my brain gets bombarded with too many thought processes. The first process is thinking of what to say, the second is trying to condense it, third is trying not to stutter, and the final process is thinking of the embarrassment that is occurring. As you can imagine my social skills are bottom tier. I come across as slow. Initiating a conversation with horrible conversational skills and a stutter is a very tough thing for me to do. And I’ve avoided it all my life.

Logic tells me that I shouldn’t give two fucks about what people think but unfortunately my emotions always win out. As you have already gathered by now, most of my issues stem from stuttering. I don’t know how to accept my stuttering as something that will be with me until I die.

I’ve been reading TRP for a little while now and I’d like to change. I've begun to lift and that's all I've done so far. Besides that I don’t know where to start given my situation. I’d like to finally live and be happy in this life instead of being depressed and being suicidal every day. Has anyone with this issue conquered it or knows someone who did? If so, how was it done?

Thanks.