If a girl has come to see me as a beta, is it too late to turn it around?

[deleted] · 2014-04-10T22:56:20+00:00

Oneitis. It has been the death blow for many men.

Theycallmegrif · Thu Apr 10 22:47:42 2014 UTC

Only if it's too late to see yourself as a man.

Start improving yourself, there's dozens of threads about it.

The point isn't to prove yourself to some women. It's to be your best and prove yourself to... yourself.

Also a few years? Move on and upwards, and you'll find the respect you want.

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-04-11T00:30:01+00:00

All of these comments about one-itis are true. But to more closely answer your question, you must understand that women don't usually think of men as beta or alpha or whatever. They use normal language. "He was kind of needy," or whatever. They have a category that they stick you in (hey, we ALL do that) and it tends to be somewhat rigid. It is possible to break/violate that category, but she will always be on the lookout for behaviors that are consistent with her initial evaluation of you. You are better off interacting with someone that doesn't already view you through this negative filter for at least two reasons: one-itis, and what I just wrote about the filter.

[deleted] · 2014-04-11T15:59:22+00:00

Why would you want to get back with someone who doesn't think you're awesome?

I'm guessing this is one of the first relationships that you've developed, and think that she's special?

Well sorry to say this, but I can just about guarantee that she's been getting plowed by different dicks, at angles that you couldn't do or imagine. Think about it. This snowflake of a girl is throwing her body at guys who are just using and abusing her in the bedroom, and she's probably loving it.

if you didn't get the stomach churning feeling from what I just wrote, you're a fucking lost cause.

If you did get a stomach churn, congratulations, you're a dude who still wants that ideal thing with a girl. Picket fence and all that shit.

Re-evaluate where things are at man...are you actually as fit as you want to be, as financial secure as you want to be, etc.

Do you have people around you who respect you for your opinion and ask for advice? If not, you're not making a wolfpack, you're just hoping to luck your way into pussy as some sort of validation that you're a good dude. Only problem is that you're looking for validation from a creature that DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GUY.

Move on, ONEITS to the limit.

absolv · 2014-04-10T23:38:20+00:00

Classic one-itis. It sucks, it's hard to get over. Could you work things out with her? Maybe... And maybe she'd notice the change in you and love it. Or maybe she'll always remember how you showed weakness capped off with some major show of pathetic BP behavior. I know exactly how you feel...

There are so many other women out there. There are younger, prettier, more intelligent, more feminine women out there.

I just don't want to think she'll see me like that forever

Fuck it, people think all sorts of things, and in addition you can't do anything to change the past. Learn to let go, free yourself from the need for approval. (Harder said than done obviously.)

raceAround126 · 2014-04-11T15:26:26+00:00

Yes. It's too late. 100% too late.

Go read the dead bedroom threads. It's too late.

But there are tonnes of girls out there. And if a LTR is actually what you want, then I guarantee that there is someone just as compatible if not moreso than your ex.

One of the mantras I've seen before and reinforced in these hallowed subs is that "once someone is an ex, you do not go back"

Do not go back. If you do and you're beta, you will be going back on her terms. I don't think that's conducive to a healthy relationship, regardless of whether it's just for fun or long term.

Move on my friend!

[deleted] · 2014-04-11T21:25:41+00:00

From being on the wrong end of two breakups spanning over a decade worth of time (16-23, 24-28); i would recommend the death approach.

She is dead, the person you loved is dead, and she is not coming back. Now the physical person isnt dead, but the person you knew (or rationalized into reality) is.

Everything people said is true. Work out, alot. Meet hotter women, fuck hotter women, pursue your own financial and life goes and create an awesome story of your life. Go out and make mistake and learn from them... all while this chick is in so far out of your rear view she is not view-able.

For inspiration: The girl I spent 6.5 years of my life (who is now married) sent me a long FB message after my 5 years of silence... Deleted without reading... no point... and i am not into necrophilia :p

Title	If a girl has come to see me as a beta, is it too late to turn it around?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	April 10, 2014 10:39 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/22qcx6/if_a_girl_has_come_to_see_me_as_a_beta_is_it_too/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/if-a-girl-has-come-to-see-me-as-a-beta-is-it-too.195745 https://theredarchive.com/post/195745

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